Cross-Coaching: A Post, A Beam, A Nail.
NOTE: This article is a part of Journey’s Summer Sabbatical Series, a follower-favorite article from the past that we’re posting again. This is a particularly interesting read in that it explains Journey’s unique approach to pastoral coaching: we model our method after the Cross of Jesus. Intrigued? Read on!
“You will never maximize your potential in any area without coaching. It is impossible. You may be good. You may even be better than everyone else. But without outside input you will never be as good as you could be.” Andy Stanley, in his book, Next Generation Leader
At Journey Pastoral Coaching, we practice “Cross-Coaching.” Briefly stated, Cross-Coaching is a sustainable coaching model based on the principled combination of two mentoring relationships: walking with a pastoral coach and with a community of peer mentors. We act on the biblical principle of walking with more experienced men and women in the faith by walking with the Journey pastoral coach. We act on the equally biblical principle of walking with people who are currently sharing our experiences in the faith by walking with our peers in Journey.
ADVANCING VERTICALLY: WALKING WITH A PASTORAL COACH
“God has written the mentor concept into human nature and that is why the concept is written into the Bible.” Dr. Lynn Anderson
Ministers of all ages and experience levels need coaches (or if you prefer, mentors). For confirmation, look no further than the life and ministry of Jesus. Though He talked to thousands, He walked with twelve. Just twelve. And the longer He walked in ministry, the less He talked to thousands, the more He walked with the twelve. With a world to evangelize, Jesus did not focus on crowds, but on a few. Jesus focused on personally and relationally forming twelve key leaders over time so that through them, He might multiply the ministry of the Gospel to the world. This approach became the ministry model of the Twelve Apostles and of the Apostle Paul.
Why did Jesus choose this ministry model? It was not because it was personally preferred model, one that fit His own personality type. That is to say, it was not because Jesus was an introvert who didn’t like crowds, therefore, he preferred to disciple a small group. Nothing could be farther from the truth. Jesus chose this ministry model because personal and relational mentorship was how Jesus had hardwired us when He created us: we are built for mentorship. As Dr. Lynn Anderson attests, the ministry model of Jesus on earth demonstrates the truth of the mentor concept, one written in the Word of God because the God of the Word has written it into human nature.
Coaching is not a need born of minister weakness, but of minister strength: it is how God has formed us; it is how we add strength to strength in our souls. When we refuse to live according to God’s creation and go “lone ranger,” we live and minister at our weakest. But when we live according to God’s creation, we are at our strongest.
ADVANCING HORIZONTALLY: WALKING WITH PEER MENTORS
“When we are fortunate enough to be surrounded by healthy, functional, caring people, we tend to become like them.” Dr. Lynn Anderson
While most would “amen” the wisdom of walking with a pastoral coach, there are some who doubt the value of peer mentorship, disputing that any real wisdom flows between young peer mentors. “After all,” they say, “They’re too young to understand ministry; they’re still making their own mistakes, so how can they help others in ministry?”
And yet, was it not Pastoral Coach Paul who told Pastor Timothy,
“Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are a young minister. Even more to the point, young Pastor Timothy, forget their arrogance: YOU be their example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity.”
And if we are honest, which of us, whatever our age and level of experience, have graduated from the school of “I’m still learning?” Only the arrogant, i.e., those who lack wisdom. Therefore, whatever my age, why not seek out ministers of roughly my age and experience who can encourage me and speak into my life?
Peer mentorship can be a powerful and positive coaching tool in the life of the minister. Peer mentorship is one ministry in which God’s Isaiah 43.19 “new things” are released in the church and in ministry in general:
“Behold, I will do a new thing, Now it shall spring forth; Shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert.”
Young ministers are virtual springs of “new thing” ideas and approaches. They are rivers who dynamically reveal God’s creativity in a ministry world far too prone to wilderness bureaucracy and desert over-structuring. As a pastoral coach who focuses on young ministers, I am daily impressed with the creativity they bring to the table – and just as impressed with their commitment to Jesus Christ, to accurately teaching the Word of God, and to personally revealing Jesus Christ to a world in need of this living Savior. And – here’s what many of my generation don’t see – these young ministers would love to walk in relationship with experienced ministers, learning from them and their experiences, so that their “new thing” ideas are bathed in the truth and wisdom of God.
Journey is populated with quality young ministers who wisely and humbly speak into each other’s lives. I hear the reports – and the shared wisdom – on a regular and frequent basis. I am honored to walk with them and to be a part of the “new thing” that God using them to do in this very day.
This is Cross-Coaching. Joined together, these two mentoring relationships form a whole and healthy coaching model, not only for our Millennial ministers in Journey, but for ministers of any age and experience.
THE POST AND BEAM
Like the Cross of Jesus, a complete coaching approach is built of a vertical post and a horizontal beam, bound together by a connecting link or linchpin.
The vertical post of coaching is the minister’s walk with a pastoral coach.
The pastoral coach is someone farther along in life and ministry, someone with the depth of experience. He or she has been where you are walking. Therefore, this person is qualified to speak “vertically” of that which is yet ahead of you.
The horizontal beam of coaching is the minister’s walk with a peer mentor.
While the pastoral coach has more experience, the peer mentor is of your generation, closer to your experience, and, in proximity to you on the learning curve of life and ministry. This person, therefore, is qualified to speak “horizontally” to you, bringing perspective and generational experience to you that the pastoral coach cannot bring.
THE CONNECTING LINCHPIN: GROWING IN THE GOSPEL
Like the Cross of Jesus, the linking linchpin of Cross-Coaching, ie, what holds it together, is not physical, but spiritual: It is the Gospel.
The Cross of Jesus was not held together by physical pegs, but by the Gospel delivered in the breath and blood of Jesus. In similar manner, Cross-Coaching is not held together by a program, but by the Gospel delivered in the breath and blood of each member of the coaching community serving other members of the coaching community – peer to peer.
Cross-Coaching means a shared journey: individuals forming relationships at the “intersection” of life in ministry, and doing so with the intentionof both asking for help and of giving help.
“One of the more unsettling revelations to most Christ followers, particularly in light of our fierce individualism, is how many of the marks of a Christian involve other people . . . Following Him is tied to the “one anothers.” James Emery White, in his book, Serious Times
And so, it is through Cross-Coaching that we tie ourselves to “one anothers” in Journey. It is in this manner that we, the members of Journey, help each member of the coaching community fulfill his or her creation and call. It is in this way that we grow the Gospel in each other, in our various ministries, and in the world that God so loves. #sharedjourneyinJesus
ISOLATION: KILLING THE KILLER
“Though I know intellectually how vulnerable I am to pride and power, I am the last one to know when I succumb to their seduction. That’s why spiritual Lone Rangers are so dangerous – and why we must depend on trusted brothers and sisters who love us enough to tell us the truth.” Charles Colson
Hands down, thenumber one killer of ministers, and especially young ministers, is isolation. Why? In his outstanding book, Dangerous Calling, Paul David Tripp gives us the answer:
“Pastor, it is plain and simple: you and I need to be pastored. One of the scandals of hordes of churches is that no one is pastoring their pastor. No one is helping him see what he is not seeing. No one is helping him examine his thoughts, desires, words, and behaviors. No one is regularly calling him to confession. No one is delineating where repentance is appropriate. No one is reaching into his discouragement with the truths of the presence, promises and provision of his Savior. No one is confronting his idolatry and pride. No one is alerting him to places of temptation and danger in his life.”
Cross-Coaching targets the killer of isolation. And it is itself an effective weapon in doing just that. Cross-Coaching nails us squarely to the Gospel through both the vertical post of walking with a pastoral coach and the horizontal beam of walking with a peer mentor. Regular contact with both helps us doubly connect with our Creator as we live according to His creation: living in healthy, life-giving relationships.
And, contrary to what many ministers believe, this is not only food for the flock: it is even more true for those who pastor God’s flock:
“Of all vocations, surely the gospel ministry is the one whose paradigm is most radically formed by the dynamics of godly mentorship.” Stephen Baldwin, in his article, Needed: Pastor-Mentors for Emerging Ministers
Some would argue that building such relationships is difficult, even impossible: “I don’t know anyone near me,” “My best friends live three states away,” or “’Mentorship by phone’ doesn’t work for me.”
Yes, face-to-face peer mentorship is always preferable, so yes, please, build relationships with those near you geographically if at all possible. But, studies reveal that, even when the opportunity exists to develop relationships with ministers nearby, most ministers do NOT do so – even when those ministers are friends. Ultimately, NOT doing peer-mentorship because we can’t have face-to-face mentorship does nothing to kill the killer of isolation. It usually leads to no mentorship-relationship, ie, isolation, the number one killer of young ministers’ ministries and calls.
Yes, you can build strong relationships around life-giving peer mentorship by phone. Not long ago, a nationally-known pastor told the members of Journey that he has had life-giving, mentoring relationships with three peers by phone for the past 30+ years: regular, focused weekly calls have helped them build strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry #isolation #loneliness #discouragement #depression #burnout
A FINAL THOUGHT
Cross-Coaching is not the complete system in building ministers for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry. No coaching ministry or approach can be. What it is, is an essential part of any serious approach to the personal and ministry development of every – every – pastor, missionary, and ministry leader.
In his book, “The Good and Beautiful Community: Following the Spirit, Extending Grace, Demonstrating Love,” James Bryan Smith writes,
“No matter who we are, no matter how deeply we live in the kingdom, we still need to be encouraged, admonished and challenged to grow in Christlikeness; we need to be accountable to an encouraging community.”
Cross-Coaching is one important way we relentlessly encourage and are encouraged, persistently admonish and are admonished, passionately challenge to grow and are challenged to grow. It’s one essential way we maximize our potential and the potential of those around us, all in the goal of fulfilling our creation and call, to the glory of God, the strength of the body of Christ, and the salvation of those yet separated from Him. It’s how we build strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry.
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Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.
We are able to do so thanks to the faithful and generous support of individuals and churches like yours who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry.
Now, more than ever, we need your help.
If you or your church would like to help Millennial ministers across the US and overseas build strong for a lifetime in ministry, please click here to support Journey monthly or with your one-time gift. Thank you.
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