Preparing for change is a bit like trying to predict the future, and we humans are mediocre forecasters on our best day. Just ask your local weather man. I am in Week 5 of an unplanned sabbatical. That is not a euphemism; no, I was not fired from my previous job. My previous job was a ministry start-up. When start-up was complete, I handed-off to the next leader. Everyone involved knew that a transition was coming for nearly a year. Everyone involved had plenty of time to prepare, as much as that can be true.
My family recently moved to a new state to plant a new church. My job is to find a job, to provide for our basic needs until our church has the means to assist. If you have been in the ministry long enough, or if you grew up in a ministry family, you know what that’s like. Almost six months into searching, applying, following up on applications, prepping for interviews, going to interviews, and following up on interviews, I am still on the hunt. Ministry background or not, we all know what that’s like.
Maybe I should have, but I did not plan for this season of extended transition. I do not currently have an office; my office is still packed in boxes in the storage unit that is our spare bedroom. I have very few appointments, and most of those revolve around my children’s school schedule and extracurricular activities. There are multiple days a week right now, when I drive to and from their school three times in twelve hours. And to think that, growing up as a Pastor’s Kid, I used to complain about having to be at church only TWICE on Sundays and ONCE on Wednesdays. We didn’t know how good we had it.
The question has become, what do I do with this surprise sabbatical? What I have been given in exchange, albeit temporarily, is an opportunity to reflect, learn, and grow inpreparation for my next ministry assignment and my new job description. Allow me to share a few things that are adding strength to my soul along the way. Whatever stage of life in ministry you find yourself in, they will add strength to you, as well. This list is not comprehensive, and the points I make are offered in no particular order. You could certainly add to them, and some may be more applicable in different phases of life.
1. Routines are not bosses—they work for you.
Survey my weekly to-do lists, and you will find that most of the items on this week’s list will be on next week’s list. They were probably on last week’s list. Holidays are great, time off is wonderful, but I love a nice, normal, everyday kind of day. Predictability cuts down on anxiety and insecurity. Consistency has a priceless tried-and-true quality. Routines allow you to track your progress, chart your trajectory, and measure clear results.
On the other hand, if you never do anything different, you never experience or accomplish anything new. We need structure and support for stability, but too much rigidity—not enough elasticity—decreases durability. Routines can make our lifestyles more secure, but if we become overly dependent on them, they can make our souls brittle. If routine is consistency, spontaneity is adaptability. We need both.
There is a fabulous park trail system that starts a block away from my house. It goes for miles in multiple directions. I normally would not have time to explore it, but for now I do. The first time I went for a walk after we moved here, I was gone for two hours. Just because I had the time. I won’t always have that kind of margin, but shaking up my routine is helping me prioritize exercise in a way that I desperately need as I transition between jobs.
You do not report to your routine. Make it work for you. Give yourself permission to take advantage of spontaneous opportunities. That’s good practice for dealing with unexpected challenges, which always require resilience. As much as possible, boss your schedule around. Your soul will be better for it.
2. Blessed are the flexible, for they will never be bent out of shape.
Right as I started this surprise sabbatical, my oldest child started middle school. Everything he is dealing with is normal. New school—and a much larger school than he is used to. New teams to try out for—but disappointment when he does not make the cut. New friends—but missing old friends. New teachers and more classes—but a new level of stress and responsibility. He is even learning a new instrument (saxophone), but he is a year behind every student who joined the band as a fifth grader.
He hasn’t even started dealing with puberty, hormones, crushes, and all that jazz yet, so the best is yet to come. But flexibility is vital right now, both for him and for me. When he jumps into the car after school, I need to discern what he needs, regardless of how my day has gone. If I’m frustrated, I’m more apt to be corrective. But what if he just needs me to listen? If my day was productive and fulfilling, I’m more apt to be encouraging. But what if he needs a loving yet firm attitude adjustment?
This season of life in ministry is stretching me—and it’s making me more flexible. What snuck up on me is how that has lowered my stress level. I tend to monitor stress in my busy-ness, but now I’m paying close attention to stress that comes from being too uptight. Too controlling. Too afraid of not always knowing the exact right thing to say. Too insecure about not always knowing the exact right thing to do next.
When life and/or ministry is stretching me, I’m forced to rely on God’s grace in new ways, at a deeper level. I pray more, more often. Which means that I commune with God more closely, and I learn to rely on His voice, His provision, His presence. On Him.
What is straining your soul these days? Is it a red line that you need to get under control? Perhaps. But it could also be an area of your life that needs to grow and expand. Make room. Lean in. Get stronger. You’ll be happier, and so will the people closest to you.
3. Rest is where we stop and where we start.
My family moved on a Friday in early August. It was 103 degrees that day. Oh, and our sixth grader had soccer tryouts at his new school that same night. The next day being Saturday, my wife and I made it our mission to unpack as many boxes as possible. But at about one o’clock that afternoon, I noticed that my shoelace was untied, so I sat down on my bed to tie it. I woke up an hour later, shoes on, mouth open, hands above my head like a referee signaling a touchdown. No big deal. I jumped up and got back to work.
Here’s the thing: The same thing happened a few days later. In the middle of the week. No hundred-degree-plus heat. No moving truck. I just sat down, fell asleep, and woke up an hour later. It hasn’t become a habit, and I have not been diagnosed with narcolepsy. I was just more tired than I knew, and my surprise sabbatical offered me much-needed rest. My body and my brain conspired to take full advantage of that opportunity.
You sleep every night. You take a day off each week. You take vacations, sick days, and go on staff retreats every year. Regular rest is sufficient for everyday life. But extraordinary life requires extraordinary rest. That could be a honeymoon after a wedding, it could be bereavement leave after the loss of a parent. A good night’s sleep signals the end of a full and productive day and simultaneously fuels us for a new day. A monumental shift in your life or in your ministry requires more than that.
Not everyone can take a sabbatical. But you can trim your calendar. You can go to bed earlier. You can look at screens less. You can schedule more time with people who fill your cup rather than sap your strength. At some point you must stop and give your soul what you need to start again. Discern what kind of rest you need—and how much. Take it, and you will discover, not new strength, but renewed strength.
4. Your closest relationship is a barometer for the health of your soul.
This is not the only useful metric, but it’s a good one. My wife has been working from home since we moved, and she will be working from home for the next several weeks. We have spent more time together over the past month than we have since COVID lockdowns. And while we have had small moments of annoyance and irritation with each other, I can say with sincerity that we have not gotten sick of each other. We still make each other better and want what is best for each other. That has been true throughout our 15 years of marriage, so far, and it remains true even during this time of extended transition.
A barometer measures pressure in the air. If that pressure is rising, it means that good weather (clear, sunny sky) is on the way. If it is falling, bad weather of some sort is in the forecast. And if the pressure is changing rapidly, the weather will become volatile as a result. That is where cold fronts lead to fast freezes and warm air clashing with cold air can cause hurricanes or tornados, depending on the region.
Lay that analogy on top of your closest relationship. I just told you about mine: My wife and I work together on life in ministry bringing us closer together, not pulling us apart. So no matter the season, our relationship and our souls enjoy more sunny skies than gray clouds. Anytime we lose focus on keeping our connection healthy, if we let pressure drop like an anchor between us, storms tend to brew. And if we allow our emotions or our circumstances to dominate us, our relationship becomes more volatile. Fifteen years of paying attention to these patterns pays off.
What does your closest relationship tell you about what is happening on the inside of you in this phase of your life? Is the grind of ministry pressing you closer together with that person, or is the connection dropping…fading…falling? If you are constantly up and down or on and off with that person—that could tell you something else. Maybe it is telling you that there is instability inside you, inside them, or inside you both.
None of this means that you have to break ties with that person; certainly, if you are married, your closest relationship is a lifetime journey of commitment, devotion, and love. But if you are in a time of extended transition, strain, stress, grief, or trauma; if you have been waiting for things to normalize, stabilize, or improve for as long as you can remember, yet you cannot find your way, look to the person closest to you for some clarity. Those who know us most intimately can see our blind spots, help us label our pain, and gain understanding of ourselves. Not navel-gazing or pity-partying; rather, diagnosing what ails our souls. Then, together, we can go to God—through pastors, mentors, coaches, etc.—and find healing, freedom, and wholeness.
These points are reflections from my own surprise sabbatical. They are not quite as prescriptive as you may prefer, and there may be themes or topics you wish I had mentioned, but I did not. Regardless, I hope you have at least noticed a common thread, from start to finish. I would say it this way: You are not in control, and that is for the best.
That is why we cannot and should not be slaves to our routines. I cannot control every outcome through careful planning alone. Life and ministry are unpredictable and sometimes random because we are people serving people. Embrace spontaneity, even as you prioritize stability.
Because blessed are the flexible. They will never be bent out of shape. A curveball is coming, and someone will eventually throw a wrench into your best-laid plans. (Have I mixed enough metaphors, or should I keep going?) The unexpected, the interruptions, and the inconveniences of life and ministry can be problematic, but they can also get us out of our comfort zones. And outside of our comfort zone is the only place we ever grow.
So as busy as you may like to be, remember to rest—and to get as much rest as you need, depending on the season. Regular rest is for everyday life. Extraordinary rest is for extraordinary life. Pay attention, and respond accordingly.
And listen to those closest to you. Watch those relationships most carefully. They will tell you a lot about the condition—the health—of your own soul. If you’re leaning into community and intimacy, consider that a good sign. If you find yourself falling away and drifting apart, take action immediately. You and I are not responsible for every outcome, every answer, or every detail. Thank God. We are responsible to Him who called us, and He is faithful and good in every season, including surprise sabbaticals. And that is for the best.
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