As I have written recently here at Journey, I love serving as a pastoral coach. Ten years in, I am still amazed that God called me to this place of service in his kingdom. He has given me the privilege of walking with the quality and committed ministers of the Gospel in the Journey community and others outside of Journey. Though I am the coach–and mentor, I am chief among learners in this circle.  

That said, it is still expected that I, as a pastoral coach, be a giver to those whose journeys I share. They come to our coaching calls looking to receive from God through me. They come to our annual retreats, group calls, visits, and special gatherings to receive from God through me. To be a pastoral coach is to be a giver. This should not be a surprise; being any kind of pastor is to be a giver. This is the joy of serving in this role. It has fallen to us to follow Christ in washing the feet of his followers.

And yet, as I mentioned above, I am also a receiver; I am a work in progress. In this spirit, I present my Christmas wish list as a pastoral coach. This year, for Christmas, I’m asking God to give these qualities to every individual I coach in 2025. They are listed in no particular order.

1. Dissatisfaction

Give a heart that is content but never satisfied, content in Christ whatever the circumstance, but never satisfied that you have wrung out of life or received from Christ all He has for you. With joy, say daily, “I’m thankful there is so much I do not yet know, and much in which I need to grow.” 

“Dissatisfaction is the second best thing there is, because it dissolves the glue that entraps us to false satisfactions, and drives us to God, the only true satisfaction.  The road home is the next best thing to home and dissatisfaction is the road, hunger and thirst for God is the road.  Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for God’s righteousness, for they shall be filled.”

Peter Kreeft, Back to Virtue

2. Thirst

Give an insatiable thirst for learning and growth, the fire and passion of a lifelong learner. Live to learn from mentors past and present, in print and in person. Thirst also means curiosity: we learn the most when we ask questions

“Cultivating a desire to learn will help guard our minds and actions from plateauing in our growth.” 

Randy D. Reese and Robert Loane, Deep Mentoring

3. Heart 

Give a heart that is bent toward God, a heart that knows his love and responds by loving and serving Him with all your heart, a heart that seeks God like lungs seek oxygen.  

“For my heart’s desire unto thine is bent: 

I aspire to a full consent.” 

George Herbert, Discipline

4. Solitude 

Give yourself the gift of meditation and reflection, meditating on the Word of God to then reflect on the God of the Word. Silence. Waiting. Listening. Let the flow of this solitude slip into our calls. 

“Solitude is not so much a place as a state of heart. It is a matter of aloneness, not loneliness. Wherever we go, whatever we face, solitude is the mobile altar in our lives that allows us to live as we worship – before the audience of One.”

Os Guinness

5. Reflection

Give thought to our coaching call before and after we share it. Between coaching calls, make a list of areas we need to discuss in our next call even as you reflect on the subjects of our most recent call. Secret weapon: Those who do this rather than respond to the feelings of the moment get the most out of our calls and our shared journey. 

“What, then, is the discipline required of a leader who can live with outstretched hands? I propose the discipline of strenuous theological reflection. . . . Strenuous theological reflection will allow us to discern critically where we are being led.”

Henri Nouwen, In Jesus’ Name

6. Commitment

Give your word and keep it – as Jesus did. Following the example of Jesus in committing Himself to us with His Cross, commit yourself fully and keep your commitments fully.  

            “The greater the journey, the more committed you have to be to take it.” John C. Maxwell

7. Work

Give a heart and mind that love to labor, to come to each call, sleeves rolled up and ready to do the hard work of digging deep into Christ, your soul, and growing as a disciple and minister of His Gospel. 

“A lot of people want a shortcut. I find the best shortcut is the long way, which is basically two words: work hard. . . . Hard work is like compounded interest in the bank. The rewards build faster.”

Randy Pausch, The Last Lecture

8. Scope

Focus on the long view more than this moment, on eternity more than this life. You have a lifetime calling from God, a lifetime to steward it, and an eternity to rejoice in your faithfulness to Him in it. 

“In the Christian view of life, there is always a vital tension between what is immediate and what is ultimate. The immediate, which is formed by our present circumstances and our short term prospects, may sometimes be horrific. But however bad the immediate, the ultimate is always helpful, and in the tension between the immediate and the ultimate lies the possibility of the resilience of faith.”

Os Guinness, Fool’s Talk

9. Communication

Give me updates between sessions on the issues we discussed in our most recent call. I want to know how you are, and I want to pray for you accordingly. Read and respond to the messages I send you and our coaching community.  

“Their conversations were so stimulating and so constant that it was said of them: they were like a meeting that never adjourned.”

Os Guinness, writing of William Wilberforce and the Clapham Circle in Entrepreneurs of Life

10. Humility

Give the confidence in Christ that comes from humility. Humility means seeing yourself as God sees you. This translates into teachability and a servant’s heart. As you grow in truth learned and lived your confidence in Christ will grow and our shared journey will deepen.

“God give me a deep humility, a well-guided zeal, a burning love and a single eye, and then let men or devils do their worst.”

George Whitefield, boarding the ship to sail on his first mission to America, December 30, 1737. 

11. Worship

Give a life of worship to Jesus, and bring this to our calls. Set Jesus as the center of your soul’s devotion, desires, dreams, disciplines, and duties. Let this center be the center of our relationship and coaching calls. Come to the call to worship Jesus in our conversation, talking about yourself only through the lens of Jesus and your desire to worship and grow in Him. 

“Worship is all about refocusing our lives. It is about pulling ourselves away from the distractions of life, from all of its competing interests, from its corruptions, from its superficialities and false goals, from its incessant talking and false hopes, once again making God central.”

David F. Wells, God In the Whirlwind

12. Soul

Give me freedom to give first attention to your soul not your self. Where a focus on the self leads to selfishness and death, a focus on the soul leads to Jesus and abundant life, whatever your circumstances. Let me help you die to self and live fully in Him. Let me help you find Jesus every day in every step of your way.

“Our world has replaced the word soul with the word self, and they are not the same thing. The more we focus on ourselves, the more we neglect our souls.” 

John Ortberg, Soul Keeping

13.  Prayer

Give time to talking and listening to God about me – my health in body and soul, family, discipleship and needs. Talk to God about my ministry to Journey. Help me serve you well. 

“Ethelfrith, the pagan Saxon king of Northumbria who had invaded Wales was about to go to battle. The Welsh were Christians, and as Ethelfrith was observing the army of his opponents spread out before him, he noticed a host of unarmed men. When he asked who they were, he was told that they were the Christian monks, praying for the success of their army. Immediately Ethelfrith realized the seriousness of the situation. ‘Attack them first,’ he ordered.”

Tim Keller, Prayer    

14. Generosity

Give a desire to give more than receive, especially a love of giving to others in our coaching community. It is in washing feet that we follow our Lord and love Him. It is in lifting others’ heavy hands that we find our hearts lifted.

            “When you cease to make a contribution, you begin to die.” Eleanor Roosevelt

15. Sabbath Life

Give God, yourself, family, and ministry the gift of a sabbath life. Not just a day off from ministry every week but a whole life that walks in the Sabbath rest of God. We’ve talked about this free offer from God often; it’s time to accept and enjoy it.

“I cannot live in the kingdom of God with a hurried soul. I cannot rest in God with a hurried soul.” 

John Ortberg, Soul Keeping

FINAL WORD

Give me these gifts so I can give you the gift of serving you well. 

Still, however much or little you give, I will give you my best throughout the year. But know this: the ceiling of what I can give you is set by the foundation of the gifts above: “Give and it shall be given.” 

As you give me these gifts, you give me what I need to shepherd your soul to green pastures and still waters, your head anointed, and your cup running over – all because, together, we have followed our Lord’s teaching.

“What leaders need is someone to shepherd their souls so that they, in turn, can lead others to the chief Shepherd, Jesus Christ. Coaching for church leaders looks less like corporate consulting, and more like biblical shepherding. Every church leader needs someone to come alongside them to encourage, admonish, comfort, and help with words of truth, drawn from scripture and godly wisdom, grounded in the gracious, saving work of Jesus Christ, and presented in the context of trusting relationships.” 

Scott Thomas and Tom Wood, Gospel Coach

Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.

We are able to do so thanks to the faithful and generous support of individuals and churches like yours who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry. 

Now, more than ever, we need your help. 

If you or your church would like to help Millennial ministers across the US and overseas build strong for a lifetime in ministry, please click here to support Journey monthly or with your one-time gift. Thank you.

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“Of all vocations, surely the gospel ministry is the one whose paradigm is most radically formed by the dynamics of godly mentorship.” 

Stephen Baldwin