Less “-ing” & more “pastor-“

Three years ago, I had a heart “event,” one that required a 5-day stay in the hospital. Over those five days, I met a parade of cardiologists and nurses. All of these medical practitioners were excellent: professional and personable.

Except one: the nurse who woke me in the middle of the night every night to draw blood.

Where other nurses were gracious and gentle each time they drew blood or inserted yet one more line in my arm, this professional gave a new meaning to “health care.” Rather than quietly waking me, she poked me and then gave out with a loud “Mr. Baker, wake up!” She pulled and contorted my arm, jabbing my flesh like a Thanksgiving turkey with a meat thermometer. She left me bruised and my arm infected.

She did the work of nursing, but she was not a nurse.

Though credentialed, she was not a nurse.

She embodied the “-ing” rather than the “nurse-” of nursing.

Many pastors approach their role in the same way: they focus on the “-ing,” rather than the “pastor-” of pastoring. They are invested in the doing rather than the being, the work rather than the life of a pastor.

Like the person who drew my blood, these pastors wound a lot of people.

And the first person they wound is themselves.

Their identity is wrapped up not in being but in doing. So, when their doing doesn’t produce the results they need to prop up their sense of self, they end up bruised, their hearts broken, and often infected.

WOUNDED WARRIOR

These wounded warriors aren’t hard to identify. The church sick room is filled to overflowing with them:

1. The “Cruisers.”

When the inevitable hard hits of ministry began, these pastors pulled back. Again and again. Hurt and fear took root. In time, they shut off their emotions from God and people. Their lives and ministries are now marked by passivity and compliance, the supreme goal, avoiding all conflict. They are just going through the motions. Their soul and ministry are set on cruise.

2. The “Hard and Bitters.”

When the inevitable hard hits of ministry began, these pastors hit back. And they continued hitting back. When any praise came their way for their abilities or effectiveness, they let it in. Over time, their hearts became proud before God and people. Their lives and ministries are now marked by cynicism and complaint. They’ve become hard and bitter in their souls.

3. The “Walk Aways.”

When the inevitable hard hits of ministry began, these pastors tried their best to hold on. But rather than focus on strengthening their being, their soul, they worked all the harder on the doing of their ministry. When more doing didn’t work, they eventually gave up and walked away, broken and wondering why people and God let them down.

Each of these pastors forgot that their first calling is to be with Jesus. Their first assignment is to continually come to Him ever more deeply, to live a life where faith grows, character is forged, and the soul is renewed by the Holy Spirit daily, growing the fruit of faithfulness and obedience.
Each of these forgot their first ministry is to be with Jesus. Their first mission is to abide in Him, and so, be formed in Him for a long, healthy, and effective ministry for the glory of God, the strength of God’s people, and the salvation of many who do not yet know Jesus Christ as Savior, growing the fruit of faithfulness.

THE PRECEDENT

This thought is nothing new; it has been true from the beginning.

In Mark 3.13-20, near the beginning of His public ministry, Jesus calls twelve to be His disciple-apostles. Mark describes the process briefly, but powerfully:

“And He went up on the mountain and summoned those whom He Himself wanted, and they came to Him. And He appointed twelve, so that they would be with Him and that He could send them out to preach, and to have authority to cast out the demons . . . . And He came home, . . .

Do you see the essential progression:

The Master appointed twelve;

“That they might be with Him;”

So that, having been with Him, they are ready to be sent out to do the work of the ministry.

And in case you think this was a one-time occurrence, notice that these men moved into “the house” of Jesus’ life, spending three years with Him on the road in perpetual formation of character. Even after Jesus’ ascension, the Twelve still placed first priority on being with God for ongoing development.

The first emphasis of Jesus and the Twelve was not on the doing of ministry, but on the being of the minister, becoming what God wanted them to be: build the minister, build the ministry. Only in this way were these apostle-pastors able to give a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry to God and His great mission on earth. Only in this way, were they able to please God.

In other words, when it comes to pastoring, Jesus is focused first on the “pastor-“ and then on the “-ing.” Being not only precedes doing, it fuels it: no fuel, no going forward.

IS MOTHER A NOUN OR A VERB?

Yes. And yes. But first things first.

“For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh.” Genesis 2.24

Last week, the New York State Senate passed a bill to replace the word “mother” with the term “gestating parent” in all family court, domestic relations, social services, education, and state statutes. The bill is described by its sponsors as an attempt to make New York state law more “inclusive.”

Wait a minute! Are they saying that the word “mother” is exclusive? Are they saying it excludes?
If they are, they are correct: “mother” is exclusive, and it does exclude. Not everyone can be a mother.
Proponents of this bill believe that anyone – female or male (am I allowed to use those words?) can do the “-ing” of mothering.

But they miss the essence of the issue. “Mother” is first a noun; only then is it a verb: no noun, no verb.

“Mother” is not first what someone does; it is first who she is: she is a mother in her being, her essence.

And it is from the flow of her being a mother in heart that she is able to do what mothers do.

To be sure, a mother’s activities may be carried out by someone else. But if that someone else is not a mother in essence (being), all their doing will be useless, and possibly even harmful.

My wife and I raised two wonderful daughters. And I was right there in the middle of all the raising: I fed them, soothed them, rocked them, changed their diapers, tended their wounds, dried their tears, read to them, taught them, played with them and much more.

But I was never their mother. Not ever.

I did almost everything a mother does for them, but I was never their mother.

I couldn’t be. I’m not a mother.

Even today, though my daughters and I are very close, it is clear I am not their mother. Adults now, they still come to their mother for what she alone can give them: not first the “-ing” of “mothering,” but the “mother-“ of mothering. Her essence. Her being.

If she were not first a noun (mother), all her verbing (mothering) would be lifeless.

The Transition

Scripture makes three truths clear, as clear and sure as the Son (yes, I spelled that correctly) shines above:

1. There are things only a mother can give you;

2. There are things only a father can give you;

3. And, there are things only a pastor can give you.

Someone may do all the things that pastors do, but that doesn’t make them a pastor.

You can “-ing” all you want, but that doesn’t make you a “pastor.”

A subtle and insignificant difference, you say? What does God say on the subject?

“Then I will give you shepherds after My own heart, who will feed you knowledge and understanding.” Jeremiah 3.15

God’s shepherd – a pastor – is, first, a pastor in heart, a pastor after God’s own heart. Only then can that person do what pastors do: feed God’s people.

A Final Word

Three years after my initial heart “event,” I’ve recently had another one. My cardiologist has scheduled me for more testing.

This heart test will help determine whether I can continue to do what I do as a pastoral coach.

But whatever I am able to do, or prevented from doing, I will always be in essence… a pastor. I am a pastor.

For many, this is old information.

For some, this old information needs a new incarnation. Like the Twelve, you need to respond to the call of Jesus to give highest priority to being with Him, to focus first not on the “-ing” of pastoring, but on the “pastor-“ of pastoring.

But for others, this is new information. You entered the ministry ready to run, run, run until Jesus comes. You’ve given little thought to your soul. After all, you’re a pastor! Doesn’t God give special grace to pastors? Maybe. But if you’re too busy with the work of the ministry to really invest in being with Jesus, remember what Jesus told someone just like you:

“Now as they were traveling along, He entered a village; and a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. And she had a sister called Mary, who was also seated at the Lord’s feet, and was listening to His word. But Martha was distracted with all her preparations; and she came up to Him and said, “Lord, do You not care that my sister has left me to do the serving by myself? Then tell her to help me.” But the Lord answered and said to her, “Martha, Martha, you are worried and distracted by many things; but only one thing is necessary; for Mary has chosen the good part, which shall not be taken away from her.” Luke 10.38-42

The “doing” of ministry worried Martha.

The “doing” of the many things of ministry distracted her. They distracted her from the one necessary thing, the good part, that which would never be taken away from her.


Pastor, it’s time for a heart checkup. It’s time visit for a thorough examination.

Are you distracted by the “-ing” of “pastoring?” Or are you focused on the “pastor-“ of pastoring, a pastor in heart, essence, and being?

It’s time that we pastor like Jesus.

Heart Health Book Suggestions

For all the Martha pastors out there (and the Mary pastors, too), here’s a “Baker’s Dozen” of books on the the essence of what it is to be a pastor – what a pastoral heart is and how to see it grow more and more in conformity to the heart of Christ.

Books are listed alphabetically, followed by a quote from the book that will give you a sense of the book. Each one can help you strengthen your shepherd’s heart, and so then, your ministry.

To help you with your heart exam, consider these diagnostic tools. Try several. You’ll thank me later.

A Tale of Three Kings by Gene Edwards

A lesson in humility, an essential virtue in servant-leadership. A needed lesson in a church world overpopulated by celebrity pastors.

From the book: “What does this world need: gifted men and women, outwardly empowered? Or individuals who are broken, inwardly transformed?”

Brothers, We Are Not Professionals by John Piper

A reminder that this is not a career, but a calling. Because it is a calling from God, it calls for a radical devotion to and dependence on Jesus Christ – not performance, but prayer and personal integrity.

From the book: “Without extended, concentrated prayer, the ministry of the Word withers. And when the ministry of the Word declines, faith (Rom. 10:17; Gal. 3:2,5) and holiness (John 17:17) decline. Activity may continue, but life and power and fruitfulness fade away. Therefore, whatever opposes prayer opposes the whole work of ministry.”

Creative Ministry by Henri Nouwen

Creative Ministry is like a letter from home. It takes us back to why we answered God’s call in the firstplace, reminding us that ministry flows from the spiritual life of the minister: being leads to doing.

From the book: “Prayer is not a preparation for work or an indispensable condition for effective  ministry. Prayer is life; prayer and ministry are the same and can never be divorced. If they are, the  minister becomes a handyman and the priesthood nothing more than another way to soften the  many pains of daily life.”

Dangerous Calling by Paul David Tripp

Dangerous Calling is both a warning and an invitation, cautioning pastors how easily we can lose sight of their own need of the Gospel in the midst of ministry busyness.

From the book: “The war of the pastorate is a deeply personal war. It is fought on the ground of the  pastor’s heart. It is a war of values, allegiances, and motivations. It is about subtle desires and  foundational dreams. This war is the greatest threat to every pastor. Yet it is a war that we often  naively ignore or quickly forget in the busyness of local church ministry.”

Fan the Flame by Jim Cymbala

Fan the Flame calls pastors to abandon a reliance on church-growth techniques and human talents. Jeremiah 3.15 pastoring is not found in satisfying consumers, but in pleasing The Shepherd who called us. The Christlike pastor is humble, empowered by the Spirit, and passionately devoted to knowing Christ more deeply through prayer and the Word.

From the book: “The first goal is to be with the Lord. Then go out and preach and have authority over  evil spirits. But first we have to be with him. And from that fellowship and communion with the Lord,  everything else will flow.”

Jesus the Pastor by John Frye

Jesus the Pastor counsels pastors to see Jesus for who He is – Creator, Savior, and Judge – but also as the “supreme Senior Pastor.” Pastoral identity and ministry should be continually formed not by leadership techniques, but by Christ’s character and way of pastoring.

From the book: “Simply put, pastoring is bringing God to people. A pastor is one who brings God to  people by imparting the Word of God (formally and informally) out of the reality of his or her life,  which is undergoing authentic and continuous Christlike transformation. Just as in Jesus, the Word  must become flesh in the pastor so that the transmission of truth is both exegetically sound and  experientially real.”

Mondays With My Old Pastor by José Luis Navajo

Imagine sitting down once a week for coffee with your spiritual father in his retirement years. Imagine having the privilege of entering his study and prayer closet, observing his walk with God up close, and inviting him to share your journey in ministry.

From the book: “Loving (God) should be our first priority and the only and sufficient motivation to  serve Him. . . If we do not serve out of love, we will end up giving up on serving. There is not enough human energy to resist the battering of serving your whole life. Only love will provide us the  necessary strength to travel this road.”

Ordering Your Private World by Gordon MacDonald

In Ordering Your Private World, Gordon MacDonald writes that everything in our life rises or falls on the spiritual order and strength in our soul. Therefore, priority one is, with the Holy Spirit’s help, to bring order to our soul life.

From the book: “We try to bring order to the inner world by beginning with activity in the outer one. This is exactly the opposite of what the Bible teaches us, what the great saints have shown us, and  what our dismal spiritual experiences regularly prove to us.”

Pause for Pastors by Chris Maxwell

Pause for Pastors calls pastors to come to Christ for spiritual refreshing in the midst of ministry’srelentless pressures. There is a place where we can find peace and rest: the presence of God. Pullaway from performance and know the presence of God.

From the book: “My friend could invest in our deep relationship for almost three decades because he  also knew how to pray alone. He was not dependent upon my approval; he chose to enter my life as  a true friend. We experience these conversations and confrontations because we both knew the  Creator who designed us both. . . . Maybe deepening our relationship with God can help us do our  part in ending the drought of relationship with others.”

Spiritual Mentoring by Keith R. Anderson and Randy D. Reese

Don’t let the title fool you: this is a book on the heart of a shepherd. It emphasizes the spiritual growthof those we lead, and so, our own spiritual growth. This growth doesn’t come through 7-step formulas or techniques. It happens through relationship with God and others. A treasure of a book for pastors.

From the book: “We have developed the ability for living with distraction into an accepted skill in our  lives today. Our society is busy with words everywhere, many words and little hearing. Because ofthat, we are inattentive to holy whispers from God, and thus we doze while events of rich significance  are being lived in our personal history. The gift of mentoring helps transform your chronology into  sacred story, mere biography into spiritual autobiography.”

The Art of Pastoring by David Hansen

The Art of Pastoring tells pastors that we are “living parables” of Jesus to our congregation and world.Pastors are not first tellers, but incarnations of Christ: our character is our first sermon. Pastoral ministry is a way of life, not a performance.

From the book: “Being a parable of Jesus Christ is an exceedingly powerful role.”

The Care of Souls by Harold Senkbeil

The Care of Souls emphasizes the fact that the pastor’s ministry is focused on the soul, therefore, it is     to be spiritual rather than practical, commercial, or even focused on church growth. To care for the     souls of others means to first care for your own soul.

From the book: “It’s easy for us as pastors to go on autopilot, just going through the motions of ministry, performing the roles we were trained to do without giving much thought to what we’re doing. No wonder we become bored and discontent in ministry. No wonder that so many of us burn ourselves out or are such easy prey for temptations of various kinds that ruin us and end our ministries. I therefore plead with you: Watch what you’re doing as a pastor. Remember who you are, whose you are, and whom you serve as a servant of Christ and steward of God’s mysteries.”

Working the Angles by Eugene Peterson

Working the Angles calls for pastoral integrity: a wholeness of person that yields a wholeness of ministry. Peterson gives pastors “angles” that define every aspect of their ministry. The only way to have a healthy ministry is to be a healthy – a whole and holy – minister.

From the book: “The pastors of America have metamorphosed into a company of shopkeepers, and the shops they keep are churches. They are preoccupied with shopkeepers’ concerns: how to keep customers happy, how to lure customers away from competitors down the street, how to package the goods so that the customers will lay out more money.”

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NOTE: Journey Pastoral Coaching exists to provide pastoral coaching to Millennial ministers.

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“Of all vocations, surely the gospel ministry is the one whose paradigm is most radically formed by the dynamics of godly mentorship.” 

Stephen Baldwin