What’s Changed? Young Ministers & Pastoral Coaching
I recently met with a colleague and our conversation covered the usuals: where we are now, what we are doing in ministry and how it’s all going. He was intrigued to hear that I am a full-time pastoral coach and that I focus on Millennial ministers. The idea was completely foreign to him.
“We didn’t need coaching when I began in ministry. What’s changed?” he asked me.
To rephrase my friend’s challenge-question, he was saying, “When we were young ministers we didn’t need to be pastored, so something must have changed in the world, in the church, or in ministers that now makes this “necessary.” What has so changed that pastors now need to themselves be pastored?”
My answer came in two parts: yes, much has changed, and; much has not changed. Both answers tell us why pastors need to be pastored.
FIRST THE CHANGES
Three major changes that demonstrate the need for pastoral coaching.
The Ministry.
Ministry is no longer primarily a contemplative life, but a complicated life. This is evidenced in the language used to describe the pastoral role.
Thirty years ago, pastors were described as church shepherds or spiritual leaders. Today, in addition to being required to be spiritual leaders, pastors are also under great pressure to be leadership gurus, business CEOs, administrative phenoms, marketing experts, event planners, counselors, community facilitators, even entertainers, who are culturally hip, tech-savy, and tireless.
Thirty years ago, pastors were expected to fill 5 basic roles. Today, it is 16.
Pastors now struggle to juggle all of the roles thrust upon them. Struggle. Juggle.
But there is a better way. And pastoral coaches help each minister build that better way. Not by imposing one-size-fits-all forms on the minister, but by helping each individual grow as the unique disciple and minister he is. The pastoral coach shares the unique journey of each minister and uses that journey to help the minister stop the struggle of juggling different roles and instead, start living a life of wholeness – integrity, oneness, unity – in Christ as a disciple and leader.
Focusing on principles, pastoral coaches individually help pastors reflect (contemplate) and refocus over time on the God of ministry, on God’s call to ministry, and on God’s ways in ministry. Focusing on doing as a flow of being, pastoral coaches help ministers first develop as disciples, learning to let their individual discipleship actually define and form their leadership.
Coaches help ministers return to the core of what ministry is all about: connecting with Christ as a disciple and then connecting with the people they lead as a flow of the minister’s own life in Christ.
Much in the ministry has changed since I entered vocational ministry over thirty-five years ago. Ministry is no longer primarily a contemplative life, but a complicated life. This change is one important answer to the question, “Why Pastoral Coaching?”
Ministry Mentoring
When I entered the ministry, the first pastor I served under took time to personally develop me. He talked Bible with me, took me along for ministry outside the church, taught me about church boards, church business, etc. He discussed pastoring people and continually challenged me to personal spiritual growth. He worked to develop me for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry.
Other experienced pastors invested in me. More than leaders, they were pastors: they were interested in more than the moment – their focus was on a lifetime, my lifetime; they were interested in more than their own staff members – they were intent on investing in young ministers. they worked to develop me for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry, even if it did not benefit them.
This is a disappearing value in church leadership today. (Notice I do not say, “in pastors.”)
Because of the above changes in ministry, church leaders now devote more time and energy to developing programs rather than people, building machines rather than ministers, growing churches rather than disciples.
I often ask lead pastors what they do to mentor the pastors on their staff. Sadly, the most common answers are “little” and “nothing.” Why not? Again, the most common answers are “I’m too busy” and “they’re big boys and girls, they can take care of themselves.”
One youth pastor even told me he had met with his senior pastor once – one time – over the previous one-year period. Yes, this is exceptional, but no, the absence of mentoring is not unusual.
Many church leaders today are primarily focused on the here and now, their own church, their own ministry. And so, staff members are not there to be developed for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry for the kingdom of God, they are there to be used and used up until they are no longer of benefit to the here and now and then they are to be sent packing.
Coaches mentor staff pastors, and lead pastors as well. They invest in the minister with an eye on the here and now, of course, but more importantly, on a lifetime of service.
Much in ministry mentoring has changed since I entered vocational ministry over thirty-five years ago. This change is one important answer to the question, “Why Pastoral Coaching?”
The Church.
The church has changed greatly over the past thirty years and is currently going through an identity crisis in three vital areas.
The church is going through an identity crisis of meaning: the church today does not understand who we are – our raison d’être, our reason for being. The stated and published purposes of local churches are as varied as the architecture of their buildings. Pastoring churches who don’t know why they even exist – from God’s perspective – is challenging if not impossible.
The church is going through an identity crisis of membership: we speak of faith communities, but private-faith Christianity is now the norm, not the exception. It’s almost an epidemic: “I’ll pick the church with the most attractive designer Jesus and cafeteria-style of ministry offerings, but as to sharing life in Christ as family and caring for others, no thanks, I’ve got my own life to live. What? Of course I’m a Christian!” Pastoring churches who only want a weekly private-faith experience before returning to their own life “outside the church” is a challenge.
Finally, the church is going through an identity crisis of ministry: we talk about every-member-a-minister, but attendance-mentality and spectatorism are on the rise: in a large number of churches, we pay the pastors to do the ministry while everyone else watches. How to engage people as servants in the church and world is more and more the question of the day in pastoral staff meetings. Yes, to be fair, many pastors foster this attitude of only-the-pastors-do-ministry, but we’ll save that for another day. Suffice it to say. pastoring churches of attenders and spectators is challenging.
Again, pastoral coaches help ministers focus, refocus and refocus on the church of Jesus Christ as described in the Word of God and at work in the world. Pastoral coaches help ministers remain shepherds of the sheep even in a complex world today.
Much in the church has changed since I entered vocational ministry over thirty-five years ago. This change is one important answer to the question, “Why Pastoral Coaching?”
Yes, much has changed since we grey hairs entered the ministry, but more importantly, it’s what has not changed that is the real why of pastoral coaching.
WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED
Your need for coaching – God did not build you to walk alone, but with.
Two really are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4.9)
In his book, Dangerous Calling, Pastor Paul David Tripp writes:
“Pastor, it is plain and simple: you and I need to be pastored. One of the scandals of hordes of churches is that no one is pastoring their pastor. No one is helping him see what he is not seeing. No one is helping him examine his thoughts, desires, words, and behaviors. No one is regularly calling him to confession. No one is delineating where repentance is appropriate. No one is reaching into his discouragement with the truths of the presence, promises and provision of his Savior. No one is confronting his idolatry and pride. No one is alerting him to places of temptation and danger in his life.”
No mention of age, of experience, of challenges, of personal strengths or whatever.
No mention of the many pastors of all ages, experience levels, challenges and strengths who have broken down, burned out and blown up because they deluded themselves into thinking they didn’t need someone to walk with them.
Every pastor needs a pastor, someone to walk with him in Christ as a person, disciple, and pastor.
Christ’s model & instruction for ministering to ministers: groups.
Check it out, it’s in The Book: when Jesus sent His staff members out into ministry, He sent them out in groups of two.
You say that’s because they were young and new to the ministry?
And yet, later we see this same group of ministers keeping the connection:
the Apostles lived and ministered together in Jerusalem;
when the Apostles travelled, they tended to travel in pairs;
when the Apostles sent Barnabas to pastor a new church in Antioch, Barnabas recruits Saul-Paul to minister by his side;
Paul serves as a missionary with Barnabas and then with Silas, as well as with others;
when Paul installs pastors in churches, his first instruction to them is to appoint elders;
when Paul is imprisoned, he calls for brothers to come and support him with their presence.
Good enough for the Apostles, good enough for me: where’s that list of pastoral coaches?
The risks of denying your need for coaching.
Check out these five fire alarm stats from surveys conducted over a period of almost twenty years by experts associated with the Schaeffer Institute:
100% of pastors surveyed had a close associate or friend from seminary who had left the ministry because of burnout, conflict in their church, or from a moral failure;
57% of pastors said they would leave if they had a better place to go—including secular work;
77% of the pastors surveyed said they did not have a good marriage;
71% of pastors stated they were burned out, and they battle depression beyond fatigue on a weekly and even a daily basis.
23% of pastors surveyed said they felt happy and content on a regular basis with who they are in Christ, in their church, and in their home.
There is a flat-lining risk involved in denying our universal weakness as human beings when it comes to walking alone: we just weren’t built to do it, so no, you’re not the exception, and no, you can’t do it. Just as important, there is a flat-lining risk in ignoring the incredible strengths in each of us that could and would be developed as we simply share the journey of ministry with another who understands.
The rewards of embracing your need for coaching.
“We didn’t need coaching in my day.” Not true. “We didn’t think we needed coaching in my day,” is a more apt description. We thought we were spiritual Clint Eastwoods, riding into town alone to do the work that we alone could do, the work that required we work and walk alone.
And yet, there really were many ministers who did have pastoral coaches. They just didn’t call them coaches in those days. They were called mentors, spiritual fathers, even friends. The name may have changed, but the ministry remains the same: pastors being pastored by wise and spiritual mentors.
Pastoral coaching is about spiritual leaders growing; it’s about growing those who grow others. It’s how secure ministers continue to grow in Christ and in their ministries for Christ.
So What Has Changed & What Hasn’t Changed?
When one of your friends in ministry echos my friend in saying, “We didn’t need coaching when I began in ministry, so why do pastors of this generation need to be pastored,” tell them there are only two good reasons: because of all that has changed and because of all that hasn’t changed.
Yes, the changes in ministry, pastoral formation and the church highlight the wisdom of pastors walking with wise guides who can help them navigate their individual journeys through those changes.
And yes, what has not changed in ministry – our inherent need of a pastor; Jesus’ model and instructions on ministry; the risks; and the rewards – all point like a GPS to the wisdom of journeying with a fellow minister who knows the ground we walk and the life we live.
Temporary changes and timeless constants call ministers of this generation and every generation to return to the biblical model of pastors walking with pastors.
Here’s to the journey.
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Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.
We are able to do so thanks to the faithful and generous support of individuals and churches like yours who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry.
Now, more than ever, we need your help.
If you or your church would like to help Millennial ministers across the US and overseas build strong for a lifetime in ministry, please click here to support Journey monthly or with your one-time gift. Thank you.
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