Burnout
A few months ago, I sat down with Pastor Daniel Day, host of The Daniel Day podcast. Click on the link to be directed to his always quality podcasts.
The topic was burnout: the what and the why of it; what we can do to prevent burnout and what to do when it burrows its way into our lives.
Here’s the quick text version of that interview. Click on the link above and scroll down to find the full interview and podcast.
QUESTION: What is your definition of burnout?
Emotional, mental, physical, even spiritual exhaustion as a result of long periods of negative stress.
The analogy I use in our pastoral coaching ministry is that of quality Scottish wool that has been rubbed thin over time. It’s still quality Scottish wool, but because of overuse, it’s worn thin, unable to bear any more weight or pull. Neither is it able to warm or protect.
In its extreme, burnout leads to artificial soul stimulants like alcohol, drugs, sexual addiction, affairs, even “hidden” lives. Things that, when we thrive, we would never do, but in survival mode, we run to them because they stimulate the soul in a counterfeit way to the way that our creation and our calling do in a true and healthy way.
QUESTION: What are some signs that show a person is in burnout? In other words, if these things are happening in your life…you are burned out or on the verge…
There are two general areas of signs; the absence of positives and the presence of negatives in someone’s life.
THE ABSENCE OF POSITIVES
- Isolation. Not solitude (a soul focused on God), but isolation (a soul focused on self).
Os Guinness writes “Solitude is not so much a place as a state of heart. It is a matter of aloneness, not loneliness. Wherever we go, whatever we face, solitude is the mobile altar in our lives that allows us to live as we worship – before the audience of One.”
When we are near or in burnout, we do not see or sense this mobile altar of self-sacrifice. We do not rejoice before an audience of one, but we are walking away from it, alone.
In his book, Leading on Empty, Wayne Cordeiro writes, “Solitude is a chosen separation for refining your soul. Isolation is what you crave when you neglect the first.”
- Dead spiritual life – Word is work, prayer is non-existent. Duty. Even self-focused.
- No joy in the things that have always given me joy – relationships, hobbies, interests.
- No sense of personal meaning or purpose.
- No passion for ministry, life, marriage, family, friendships.
THE PRESENCE OF NEGATIVES
- Lingering lethargy. No energy. Just going through the motions – exhausted every day.
- Emotional Irritability. Impatient. Easily frustrated. Resentful. Angry.
- Critical. Edgy with people or critical of them. Bitter or critical spirit.
- Cynical. “Nothing” right, “everything” wrong.
- Depressed. Often undefined reason why. Ongoing sleep and health problems.
In general, your soul is comatose: no drive to thrive, only survive. And often, not even that.
QUESTION: What are the top two or three causes of burnout?
There are so many:
- Sin we think we can control – it will eventually control us and burn us.
- The Idolatry of Work – Working too much without regular and real soul rest.
- Minister Use & Abuse – by those we serve under
They are to steward us, but sometimes they use and abuse us.
- Disappointment with people – those whom we are trying to serve.
- Failure – of a vision, ministry, or plan in which we’ve heavily invested.
- Trying to do something we are not called, equipped, gifted or trained to do.
- In over our head without adequate support.
Let me give you three we might not often think about:
1. Not living within God-ordained limits – Exodus 18
In Exodus 18, Pastor Moses was sitting “in his office” from dawn until dusk, dealing with the problems of Israel. His father-in-law, his pastoral coach, Jethro, tells Moses, “What you are doing is not good. You are wearing out the people & yourself.” He does not even mention the sad fact that, because of Moses’ ministry model, Israel is no longer moving toward Promised Land, but is sinking their tent stakes ever deeper in the sands of the desert. Jethro tells Moses, “Let everyone do what everyone can do, many do what many can do, some do what some can do, so that you can do what only you can do as the pastor of Israel. Then you will be a whole and healthy leader and my people will live in peace. And Israel will be back on mission to the Promised Land.”
Limits are liberating: they set us free to be all God wants us to be, and do all God wants us to do.
An illustration from real life. The wedding ring symbolizes the life and heartbeat of covenant. If you will allow me, the wedding ring cuts off circulation: I’m no longer available to other women. But it is this limit that is my liberty: I find more life, love & joy in the limits of my wedding ring, my wedding covenant, than I do living outside of it. Limits are life-giving.
We need to bring that truth into ministry life, defining ourselves not by how much we do but, by how whole and healthy we are in our creation and calling – that means limits: I can’t fly, so I don’t try to; God didn’t call me to be everything to my church, so I don’t try to. It’s living in my Jer. 1.5 creation/calling that is life-giving.
This means learning the virtue of saying “NO.” When we say yes to a request, we are also saying no to all other requests. Saying yes to all requests and demands that come my way is also saying no to the essential requests and demands. So, like Moses, you as leader can do what only you can do.
2. Putting doing ahead of being (Creation)
Doing flows from being. Ministry for Jesus flows from our ministry to and from Jesus. When we build the minister, we build the ministry. Many ministers are focused first on the doing, and so, eventually, they wear out their souls from the outside and the inside: from the outside as they tire themselves; from the inside as they neglect the care of their souls (however much they protest this is not the case).
The problem: Not many years ago pastors were expected to handle FIVE primary tasks, but studies today reveal that the number has swelled to SIXTEEN or more. “Primary” tasks.
Many pastors have so stretched themselves in the ministry that they have lost their personhood. They have not died to self for the sake of fully knowing God and making Him known, as Jesus commands, but have sacrificed their souls for the sake of the ministry. These two actions are not the same, and are not to be confused. Where dying to self to be fully possessed by God actualizes our Jeremiah 1.5 identity and gives health to our person, sacrificing ourselves to ministry inevitably erases our identity, strangling the soul. The results are, at best, burnout, at worst, idolatry. We need to give first attention to being and caring for our souls. Great resources are out there to help us keep the first thing first thing.
3. Not living in Sabbath.
So many pastors do not live in Sabbath. I don’t mean they fail to take a Sabbath day, but they fail to live in Sabbath as a way of life. Jesus lived in Sabbath on the earth. He was busy and about the Father’s work, but He lived in perpetual Sabbath – people saw it and felt it in his life and ministry.
Sabbath rest is a way of life, an inner quietness of soul (Spirit hovering over the earth / hovering in us) that feeds and defines my life. Like Jesus, I go away to be with the Father in solitude. That solitude takes residence in my soul like a heartbeat and like breath. I then walk back out into my busy world of life and ministry, but I walk back out in the life of solitude. Even in a busy world, I am one with the Father.
Many ministers are always busy, rarely at rest – from exterior work and from inner moving the load forward. We’re like hamsters in the wheel. We can’t sit quietly in the presence of God and know solitude with Him. Jesus could and Jesus did. It’s why He lived and ministered as He did. At peace with stones flying around him and Pharisees attacking Him. A Cross before Him, in Luke 9, Jesus set Himself – body and soul – to get to it. What human can do that? Only One who lives in Sabbath rest.
And a bonus . . .
4. Not answering the call to the audience of One.
Also known as People Pleasing.
Solution: Every day as you go about your duties, picture a theater where every seat except one is empty. Seated front and center is the Lord Jesus Christ. You do not serve the people of your church, you serve Him. Therefore, only work to please Him who created you and called you according to Jeremiah 1.5.
You will never please everyone, and trying to do so, you will, in fact, please no one – least of all yourself and God. Serve the Audience of One. That includes setting aside personal fulfillment as goal or qualifier for whether we stay where we are, leave where we are, or leave the ministry.
FINAL WORD:
Burnout is consuming the lives and ministries of ministers across America. Ministers of all ages and traditions. This is in itself reason enough to address this issue with everything we have: ministers, their families, their current ministry, and their lifetime calling are all worthy of the church’s care and stewardship.
Which brings me to a second victim of minister burnout: churches.
When a pastor is suffering burnout (or the burn leads precedes burnout), the church also suffers. The people become sheep without a shepherd who is fully present, and so, they become weak and helpless (Matthew 9). The people do not have a pastor at his or her best, soul full, fresh in God’s anointing, and strong spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically, and relationally.
Further, when a pastor goes full burn out, the church suffers in a different way: they become sheep without a shepherd at all (Matthew 9). Now begins the process of finding not just any pastor, but the right pastor. This process can last months or even years, dragging the church through a season of seemingly interminable waiting. And then, studies say it is several more years before the pastor and congregation are walking together at full strength. If only the church had stewarded their pastor rather than letting that pastor flame on and burn out. If only. But now, this individual, called of God to pastor this church is gone; this individual, called of God to a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry has left the grid and may never return. Many never return to the church.
Burnout is a “disease” God can heal. But more importantly, it is a “disease” the pastor and church can prevent. We’ll talk about that in two weeks.
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