I remember the moment the call came. I didn’t recognize it at the time, but looking back, I see it now. 

Just a couple years before, I was spending a day with a great friend, one of the two men who led me to Jesus when we were teens. As we talked, he said, “Alan, there’s something new coming for you. I can hear it; I can feel it. God is leading you into something; what is it?” I told him I had no idea what he was talking about. I assured him that I was where I belonged in ministry and expected to remain a missionary. Little did I know that God was using my friend to prepare me for a major change in my life. 

Fast-forward to the moment of God’s call. I was attending my denomination’s bi-annual national meeting when our general superintendent sounded an alarm that resonated with me: “We need 4000 young adults to answer the call of God to the ministry today, not a few years from now, but today.” He said we all knew the plague of minister burnout in the church, the plunging numbers of young adults entering the ministry, and the rapid graying of the pulpit. He was speaking in plain language, and we heard him. 

I remember thinking to myself, “This is a massive challenge. How can we meet it?” With five of ten young ministers quitting the ministry in the first five years, his call for 4000 was, in fact, a call for twice that number. Studies demonstrated that the key to surviving and thriving in ministry is walking with competent mentor-coaches. If we saw 4000 new ministers answer God’s call, it would require hundreds and hundreds of healthy mentor-coaches to walk with them. How would this be possible?

Then a thought hit me: if 100 experienced ministers could each walk with 40 young ministers, we could make a significant difference in the equation. That day in the Orange County Convention Center, a dream, God’s call really, came to me to be a part of the solution. 

Three years later, God did just that: Journey Pastoral Coaching was born. 

This month, November 2022, Journey Pastoral Coaching celebrates its eighth anniversary. From the beginning, our mission has remained the same: JPC exists to help young ministers build strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry. 

EIGHT YEARS AND EIGHT LESSONS

These eight years of ministry in pastoral coaching have reinforced many of the things I believed to be true about coaching. But they have also brought a few surprises. 

As I have given thousands of hours to one-on-one coaching, hundreds of hours to group coaching, spoken to groups of ministers, led coaching clinics, been interviewed, preached in local churches, and interacted with other full-time pastoral coaches, I have learned many new lessons. Here are just eight of the most significant ones – one for every year of our ministry journey. 

1. Coaching is Intergenerational and Multigenerational in Focus. 

The older and younger share their journey for the sake of their lives and ministries today, as it should be. But they also recognize that the effects of their shared journey will touch generations to come. Even today, you and I are the recipients of the influence of the pastors who pastored our pastors. 

We are the recipients of the influence of Jesus mentoring the apostles 2100 years ago. Jesus mentored 12, who mentored Barnabas, who mentored Paul, who mentored Timothy, who mentored, etc., on and on until today. Eternity will look different because of the Emmaus Road journey they shared then, the Emmaus Road journey we share today. 

This is a benefit of mentoring and coaching that is often unrecognized. It was a benefit Jesus saw from the beginning of His earthly ministry as He walked with twelve who walked with those following behind them. Walking with just twelve individuals, Jesus could not only make disciples in that generation but in all generations to follow. 

“People throughout history, Socrates and others, knew that if they were to perpetuate their teachings, they had to create a group of people who would teach others. . . . We need to put in motion this process of mentoring, a process that will perpetuate itself generation after generation. After you’re dead, people will still be influenced by those you influenced.” Gordon MacDonald, 

2. The Demand For Mentor-Coaches Exceeds the Supply 

I hear it all too often: “I can’t find anyone willing to walk with me.” I know one young minister who asked each of five more mature pastors if they would talk with him once a month. Not one said he had the time. 

Why is this? Is it the personal commitment and time required in a mentoring-coaching relationship?  Do more senior ministers see mentoring as unimportant or ineffective? Do older ministers take a “sink or swim” attitude to younger ministers – “I didn’t have a pastoral mentor or coach when I was young. Why do they need one?” I’ve personally heard all of these objections from my peers. 

Actually, our generation did have mentors and coaches; we just didn’t call them by those names. Our mentors and coaches were people we called Pastor Adams, Brother Bonin, or Dr. Carrera. And while we didn’t label the relationship, it was mentoring all the same. 

Thank God for our mentors’ commitment to us. Thank God they didn’t see us as unimportant or mentoring us as ineffective. Thank God they didn’t tell us to sink or swim, but extended a servant’s heart and a helping hand. Thank God for the gifts they gave us – wisdom, time, and themselves.

3. Coaching Strengthens The One Being Coached – And The Coach!

Pastoral Coaching gives wisdom to the younger; to the older, it gives rejuvenation (and more wisdom).

Most see the value of mentoring in the life of a young minister. What most don’t understand is the value to the older minister. Walking with those younger takes the depth of truths long steeped in the mentor’s soul and stirs them, enriching them. Walking with the younger puts the older in a stream of abundant life that flows from Jesus to the younger, not stopping there but rushing into the soul of the older minister. In the end, it is the older mentor-coach who is most enriched by the mentor-coach relationship. I know. 

In every call young ministers and I share on our 21^st Century Emmaus Road, Jesus joins us on our journey, talking not only to the person I am coaching but to me about me. Every day is an expedition in shared discipleship where, by the direction of the Holy Spirit and the vulnerability of those whom I coach, God addresses my own thoughts, desires, words, and behaviors. I am called to confession and repentance again and again. How I thank God for it. 

“Many men over age 55 are reaching for the bench, sliding for home. They are caving in at the very time when they ought to be tearing the place apart for Jesus Christ. That’s one reason I believe so strongly in mentoring. It helps younger men mature and older man rejuvenate. Why? Because we grow most in the process of helping others grow.” Howard Hendricks

4. The Church is Missing its Greatest Ministry Opportunity

And so, the church is paying a great price. The price it will pay in the future will be greater still. 

From denominations to local churches, we are not stewarding a generation of young ministers who have no one to challenge and encourage them, confront and comfort them, ask the questions they haven’t considered and walk them through the process of landing on answers.

Far too few are willing to mentor younger ministers. Instead, denominations and churches use and even abuse young pastors – especially staff pastors – with no thought to their health in ministry here and now or in their future ministry elsewhere. All too often, we shuffle one in, work them until they drop out, and then shuffle in the next one. I know of a local church that rarely keeps staff pastors for more than a year. Sadly, it is far from alone in this dubious distinction. 

But what if every local church stewarded its pastors – especially young pastors – helping them thrive so they can minister effectively now and in the future – wherever God leads them, even in another church or ministry? No more “us, here, now” mentality, but a kingdom of God mentality – doing all we can to see pastors – especially the young – thrive for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry, wherever they serve.

A member of Journey Pastoral Coaching told me just this week that he is already working on a plan to launch a coaching ministry much like Journey for the young staff pastors in his state – a group of ministers being completely ignored by the church. He has shared his dream with young staff pastors in his area, and it has elicited tears of joy and gratitude from them. And a “let’s do this” response.  

“Coaching can help people make decisions, evaluate their lifestyles, build new boundaries into their lives, reconnect with God, and feel hope again. I can’t think of a more needed service in our culture today or a more crucial ministry for the church.” Gary Collins

5. Too Few Mature Ministers Are Willing to Coach or Become Coaches. 

There are two thoughts here. First, the longer Jesus walked and ministered on earth, the less time and energy He gave to many, the more time and energy He gave to a few. Longer in time, fewer in focus. 

Many older ministers, however, give little or no thought to those who will follow them; they are not investing in younger ministers, forfeiting an incredible ministry opportunity that will see multiplied fruit here and around the world, today and for generations to come. 

I have officiated and attended the funerals of many ministers who gave decades of service to God and His people. I remember earlier days lamenting the loss to the church until I realized that, in some cases, these men and women had followed Jesus’ example in their later years by spending less time with many to invest in a few – mentoring them. These had obeyed the instruction given by Paul to Timothy: “What you have heard from me in the presence of many witnesses entrust to faithful men, who will be able to teach others also” (II Timothy 2.2). Not just the ink-on-parchment doctrines but the breath-and-blood living out of those doctrines. Thank God for the experienced ministers who invest in the younger. May far more answer Jesus’ call. 

Second, many older ministers are unwilling to become coaches. They may be willing to instruct younger ministers – and may even have coaching certification – but they are speakers who do not listen; tellers who do not permit questions; correctors who only point out faults; dictators who do not permit exploration; lecturers who do not allow others to discover God’s path for themselves. Mentorship is not about the mentor and his agenda, but the people being mentored, helping each one understand his or her life journey in ministry, discovering what God would tell them there.  

“Spiritual mentoring is any of the ways we come along side to assist another to listen to God and to discover the already present action of God in that person’s life.” Keith R. Anderson and Randy D. Reece

6. Not Everyone Should Be a Pastoral Coach.  

“Wait! What? Did I read that correctly?” you ask. Yes, you did. Let me explain. 

A few years ago, I happened to meet a colleague in a local business. He was in a celebratory mood that day because he had just received denominational certification as a pastoral coach. However, I remember being struck immediately by the thought that this man should be coaching no one. He was widely known to lack commitment and be impatient, dismissive, and difficult to work with. While he may have been effective in other areas of ministry, it was clear to all who knew him that he was not made to be a mentor or coach.  

A certificate does not qualify a mentor or pastoral coach. He or she is qualified by years and years of growing in grace, a grace expressed first by a life of gratitude and then by a ministry of graciousness – “grace-filledness,” a life that overflows with the work of grace in their life – love, joy, peace, patience, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, and self-control. The writer of Proverbs would remind us of the importance of wisdom. The mentor or coach is qualified by the God of all Grace and Wisdom.

“Not everyone is suited to be a mentor. Mentors are people who can readily see potential in a person. They can tolerate the mistakes, brashness, abrasiveness, etc., in order to see potential develop. They are flexible and patient, recognizing that it takes time and experience for a person to develop. They have vision and ability to see down the road and suggest next steps that a protégé needs for development. And they usually have a gift mix that includes one or more of the encouragement spiritual gifts: mercy, giving, exhortation, faith, word of wisdom.” J. Robert Clinton

7. Not All Who Have a Coach Take Full Advantage of the Opportunity.

As a young minister, I sought every opportunity to talk with an experienced minister. My second and third pastors were great mentors to me before I even formally entered the ministry. I was hungry not just for answers but for the opportunity to sit at the fires that illuminated and warmed their way, to drink from the wells that had made them the men of God I so respected.

Some young ministers go to each coaching conversation with a list of questions or topics to discuss. They are ready to run hard and deep when the coaching session begins. They are prepared to ask, pray, discuss, listen, learn, grow, and take away thoughts to reflect on. But not all are like this.

Some require “spiritual dentistry” to pull out of them the things they want to learn about, much less need to grow in. Rather than setting the agenda for coaching sessions, they expect the coach to fill the time with profundities or quotable soundbites they can use in a sermon.  

Others miss their appointments – even when struggling. They like having a coach but do not commit to the journey required. Then they wonder why coaching seems ineffective. What was that about leading horses to water? Insight: the potential depths of a pastoral coaching relationship are set not by the mentor-coach but by the person being coached. 

Some lack humility – they never ask questions, have all the answers, and resist change. They come to coaching not to grow but to justify themselves – why they are right, and others are wrong.

Some are unwilling to break through the surface. Instead, they want to talk about what is seen rather than unseen and needs to be talked about: motivations, desires, blind spots, hurts, temptations, joys, sorrows, dreams, and more.

And finally, there are those who want to work on church growth rather than personal growth and leadership techniques rather than the soul of the leader. These rarely stay: defined by their doing, they run away to live their ministry lives on the wheel, running like a hamster in a relentless and unforgiving cycle of performance and numbers.

“Not until we have become humble and teachable, standing in awe of God’s holiness and sovereignty. acknowledging our own littleness, distrusting our own thoughts, and willing to have our minds turned upside down, can divine wisdom become ours.” J.I. Packer

8. Few Churches Give the Gift of Coaching to Their Pastors.

Few churches require it of their pastors. Even fewer are willing to pay for it.  

Even though study after study demonstrates mentorship-coaching to be one of the most life-giving steps any minister can take to survive and thrive in ministry.

In his must-read book, Dangerous Calling, author Paul David Tripp calls it the “scandal of the church.” 

He’s right. How many churches milk their pastors for everything they can get out of them, without seeing to it that their pastors are not only “ok” but living in a healthy regimen of refreshing that includes sharing their journey with a mentor-coach. 

Bottom line: when a church does not require their pastors to walk with a mentor-coach (and pay for it!), they not only harm their pastors, but themselves. They will not know what it is to have a pastor in full health and vigor, leading them for many years to come. What they will know is a pastor who will leave sooner rather than later or a pastor who stays but is only going through the motions. 

We steward church finances, buildings, and other resources, why not steward our most important earthly resource: our pastors? Why not insist they take care of themselves by walking with a mentor or coach and paying for it? For a very modest cost, a church can see a new pastor in its pulpit. No, not someone with a different name, but a different heartbeat and step. 

“One of the scandals of hordes of churches is that no one is pastoring their pastor. No one is helping him see what he is not seeing. No one is helping him examine his thoughts, desires, words, and behaviors. No one is regularly calling him to confession. No one is delineating where repentance is appropriate. No one is reaching into his discouragement with the truths of the presence, promises and provision of his Savior. No one is confronting his idolatry and pride. No one is alerting him to places of temptation and danger in his life.”  Paul David Tripp

A FINAL THOUGHT

The point of it all: to help young ministers build strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry so that they may declare the person and power of God from generation to generation!

“Since my youth, oh God, you have told me, and to this day I declare your marvelous deeds. Even when I am old and gray, do not for sake me, oh God, till I declare your power to the next generation, your might to all who are to come.” Psalm 71:17-18

Eight years of sharing the journey with young ministers across America and around the world! 

We give God thanks for His grace and goodness to us every step of the way. Soli Deo Gloria!

Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.

We are able to do so thanks to the faithful and generous support of individuals and churches like yours who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry. 

Now, more than ever, we need your help. 

If you or your church would like to help Millennial ministers across the US and overseas build strong for a lifetime in ministry, please click here to support Journey monthly or with your one-time gift. Thank you.

We also invite you to click and subscribe to our twice-monthly blogs at journeypastoralcoaching.com

“Of all vocations, surely the gospel ministry is the one whose paradigm is most radically formed by the dynamics of godly mentorship.” 

Stephen Baldwin