Guest Blog: Avoiding a Slow Ministry Death – 4 Essentials
Editor’s Note: The author of this article, Brandon Horst, lives in the Fairfax, Virginia area where, along with his wife Hannah, he serves as Family Pastor at Centrepointe Church. He is also a member of Journey Pastoral Coaching and represents Journey to ministers and ministries across the country.
What do the Bible, pop music, poetry, and Hollywood all have in common?
“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.” – Ecclesiastes
“One is the loneliest number that there ever was…” – Harry Nilsson
“No man is an island entire unto himself…” – John Donne
“You complete me…” – Jerry Maguire
Now for a pop quiz: What do the Bible, pop music, poetry, and Hollywood all have in common?
The answer: We were not meant to walk the journey of life alone.
But like so many simple truths, our everyday, waking up and laying down, lives often don’t
reflect a life lived WITH others, at least not in our deep places, and so we are dying a slow
death.
But what can be done?
Before I go any further, I want to address the elephant in the room: I am not a veteran of
ministry by any means. I am simply a man, 7 years into a full-time pastoral call, who was asked
by a true veteran, and the leader of Journey Pastoral Coaching, Pastor Alan Baker, to write a guest
blog post. What I can attest to, with Pastor Baker’s full affirmation, is that you would be hard-
pressed to find someone who has thrived in ministry for decades without absorbing the following
4 essentials into their core being. I am simply trying to put it into as simple of terms as possible.
What can be done?
Now back to the question at hand and also where the 4 essentials come into play.
What can be done is this:
1. Spend meaningful, life-giving time with God every day (“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”)
2. Have wise-counsel whom you connect with often (Gandolf with Frodo, Haymitch with Katniss)
3. Have a tribe of peers whom you spend every week with (“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”)
4. Have a soul friend who is as close as a brother or sister (“The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul”)
I think of these 4 relationships as the points on a compass; they are not a 100% guarantee of
preventing a slow ministry death (or on the flip side, producing a thriving ministry life), but they
will make it difficult to lose your way.
It is also important to keep in mind that if you have no idea how to properly use a compass, it is
useless.
So let’s talk next about how to properly use this particular compass.
1. Spend meaningful, life-giving time with God every day (“But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.”)
This is your true north.
I think it is safe to say that Jesus’ withdrawals were not times of sermon preparation or an item to check off his list, so he could get on with the more important parts of his day (how many times have we pastors heard that).
Rather than preaching to the choir on this one, I will propose a simple test.
If every day, you basically never look forward to spending personal time with God…
OR
If you never feel like something is missing when you don’t spend time with God
THEN
Your relationship with the Father and with Jesus is probably not as deep as it needs to be.
Not even 3 years ago, that is where I was.
It was through the Holy Spirit, wise counsel, and my peers that turned the tide on this.
Let me end with this: there is a vast sea of ways to connect with God, don’t be afraid to go outside of your own tradition and back through church history in your search.
A great introductory book on this is: Thirsty for God by Bradley Holt
2. Have wise-counsel whom you connect with often (Gandolf with Frodo, Haymitch with
Katniss)
This is south; it is along the vertical axis with your relationship with God.
Without it, your ministry life will go South (pardon the corniness there, I couldn’t help myself).
Without wise counselors like Pastor Baker and several others, at best, I would be much less far along, and, at worst, I would be out of ministry.
Probably the biggest gift that wise counselors have given me, is actually not advice, but rather assurances that my discouragements, frustrations, set-backs, and disillusionments are a normal part of maturing as a pastor.
Where are these wise counselors found?
As I look at my wise counselors, they were people who crossed my path (usually without me intentionally reaching out) and the Holy Spirit nudged me to explore with them their willingness to walk with me long-term.
It was fairly organic.
Who have you crossed paths with, who you really look up to? Has the Holy Spirit ever put a quickening in your spirit when you saw them or thought of them?
Those are great candidates to begin with.
3. Have a tribe of peers whom you spend every week with (“A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken.”)
This may be the most difficult of the essentials to put in place.
It is on the horizontal axis (whether you want to make it West or East is up to you).
Without this essential and the next, your health in ministry will be as far as the East is from the West (again, I’m so sorry, but I couldn’t not do it).
With differing schedules, time zones, family sizes, activities, etc, it can be daunting to form a
group of peers who go deep together.
But the power of such a group (break-proofing you) is too important to not make the effort.
Probably the best context for getting this started is going away somewhere with at least 4 in the group for 2-3 days.
Spend that time sharing deeply, praying with each other, and laughing together.
And make sure you do not leave without making a plan of how you are going to stay connected
and deepening.
Will it be through a text group? Video messaging on an app like Marco Polo? A regular Zoom
call? Do you need to schedule another retreat together in 6 months?
4. Have a soul friend who is as close as a brother or sister (“The soul of Jonathan was knit with the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul.”)
Outside your immediate family, who would you call if something happened that threatened to
derail your entire life? Who you could share anything with, even your darkest parts, and receive
support and love?
If a name comes to mind, that person is your soul friend.
Is there anything you are keeping from them that you need to open up about? (If so, stop reading and pick up the phone right now).
Do you yearn for a friend like this?
I’ve found that often, out of forming that tight-knit peer group, there is 1 person whom you connect with on a deeper level.
They are a great candidate.
This is a relationship that takes time, intentionality, and a willingness to be vulnerable (I can feel some readers cringing at this point. Is it a tough ask? Yes. Is it worth it? 100%!).
Last Words
I’ve read enough books to know that when something like this is presented, it is easy to breeze through, think “This is really good (or maybe really lame),” and continue on, even though I know slowing down and spending time with it could be transformational.
So my simple ask is this:
Pause.
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Close your eyes.
Hold in a deep breath.
And as you exhale, pray, “Holy Spirit, what would you have me do? (If anything)”
Finally, listen until you are ready to move on.
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