Over two hundred fifty feet in the air, standing at the intersection of four 12-inch steel beams, I froze. The sky above me and open space below me, I was completely unable to move. 

BEAM WALKER

What was I doing standing on a 12-inch beam, more than two hundred fifty feet in the air?

It was my first day on the job, working on one of the construction crews (iron workers, boiler makers, pipe fitters, etc.) building a power plant in the city where I attended Bible College. After my all too brief in-office orientation, my supervisor told me he would take me “up top” to complete my on-the-job training. 

We stepped into a steel cage elevator and slowly began to scale the side of the labyrinth-like steel structure that framed and supported the enormous coal-fired boiler. In time, it would be brought to life as the heart of the power plant. After the elevator made its final lurch, arriving at the top of the structure, we stepped out onto a small platform more than 25 stories in the air. We saw nothing but the sky above us, the horizon around us, and a maze of open air and steel below us. Added to this, the industrial-grade steel framework on which we stood was ever so slightly swaying under our feet. 

Calling back over his shoulder, “Stay there,” my boss then strolled off the platform onto a twelve-inch beam and walked out toward the center of the structure, an intersection of four twelve-inch beams. Then, turning around to face me, and as if we were strolling across the lawns of a city park, he called out, “Now you come out. Just step out on the beam and walk to me.” 

Noting that no one had joined us on the platform, I understood he was talking to me. I walked to the platform’s edge, measured my situation, flexed my fingers, and drew a deep breath. 

Did I mention that I had never walked steel before? And that I had a history of a fear of heights? 

Knowing I had to act or lose a good job I very much needed to pay for my education and begin married life, I stepped off the platform. I put my right foot on the beam before me, followed by my left foot, right, and left, again and again, carefully measuring my pace. Every step was an excruciating exercise of will to physically move each foot, calm myself, not trip, and keep from looking down. I stared straight ahead to where my boss was standing, working with all I had to maintain my mental and physical control.

Meanwhile, my boss circled around by other beams and returned to the small platform near the elevator. 

Reaching the intersection of the beams, I stopped. My heart was pounding through my chest. My legs felt like rubber bands. Sweat was pouring off me. I worked to collect myself, knowing I had to now turn around on a square steel pad not much larger than my feet. I could feel the structure swaying ever so slightly. I knew I had to turn around; there was no other option. But I also knew I could not move: I was lost in space at the top of a structure almost as tall as the highest point of the US Capitol. 

But I knew I could not stay where I was. More importantly, I knew I could not stay as I was: I had to control my emotions, conquer my fear, and rekindle my confidence, though I did not know how I could move. 

I prayed, worked to calm myself, and slowly shifted my feet around, a task that seemed to take forever. Mission accomplished, I now faced the same beam that had led me out into the middle of nowhere.

Taking a deep breath, I stepped out with my right foot, followed by my left, again and again until I was safely back on the small platform. 

So ended my on-the-job training. 

LEARNING TO WALK BEAMS

People have asked me how I was able to walk out on the steel that very first time. Here’s my response.  

• I remembered that many others had done what I was doing. I could do it, too. 
• I resolved to do it – I knew what I had to do and set my soul (mind, will, emotions) to do it. 
• I concentrated only on the mission before me. I had one job to fulfill. 
• I focused on the goal, neither looking down (and getting dizzy) nor up (and losing my footing);
• I listened to my leader’s encouragement;
• I maintained my self-control and calm, not giving in to my feelings or emotions;
• I kept moving – I would not permit myself to stop;
• I prayed, trusting God to direct me and help me. 
• I balanced myself by integrating every part of my being in reaching the goal.
• I talked with co-workers afterward to ask them how to go back out the second time. 

THE INTERSECTION

So, what does all this have to do with the ministry?  

If you served any length of time as a minister, you can, to some degree, identify with my experience. No, you don’t walk steel. But you do know what it is to freeze, to be unable to move, having no idea how to take your next step. Most of all, you know what it is to feel your next step could be your last in ministry or at least in the ministry where you were – or are – serving. We’ve all faced those seemingly, “no way out and no way ahead” dilemmas. 

My experience walking steel can speak for you and to you as you navigate your fears, doubts, and great unknowns. The “steps” I took to keep moving forward successfully can translate well into your situation. Here’s what to do when you find yourself frozen on the high steel of ministry:

1. REMEMBER: Remember that many others have done what you are trying to do. With God’s call and God’s help, you can do it, too. A great cloud of witnesses, in this life and the next, is cheering you forward. Take a moment and remember the people who have told you they have confidence in your call and ministry – confidence in you. Make a list. Take time to remember the times in prayer when God reassured you of His call and help.  

2. RESOLVE:You are a pastor. You know what pastors do and have to do. Set your soul (mind, will, emotions) to do it. Not just the easy and fulfilling things, but the hard and sacrificial. Just as Jesus set His body and soul on a course leading to the Cross, set your body and soul on the course of your calling and pleasing the One who calls. We didn’t sign up for a pleasure cruise, Pastor. We signed up to serve the Savior who served us with His body and breath. Resolve to follow Jesus.

3. CONCENTRATE: Concentrate on the mission and only on the mission God has set before you: pastoring and doing it in a way that pleases God. Period. Not people pleasing, living for church growth, or keeping up with Pastor Jones across town or the latest media exemplar. You have one mission to fulfill: pastoring God’s people. It consists primarily in prayer, Word, and spiritual direction. Give yourselves to these.  

4. FOCUS: Focus on the goal, neither looking down (in despair at your problems on earth), nor looking up to heaven only (to the exclusion of being active on earth). Neither so earthly-minded we lose touch with heaven nor so heavenly-minded we are no earthly good. Focus on blending both. First, look intensely to “Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12.2) – just as He intently looked to the Father. Second, look with intentionality to practical ways you can bring the kingdom of heaven ever more deeply to those who live on earth. Ask yourself: “Where is Jesus in this?” Go toward Him and take others with you in your journey.

5. LISTEN: Listen to your mentors’ encouragement. Mentors know more about “walking the steel” in ministry than you do. Why? They had to take first steps, too. And they’ve been walking in ministry longer than you. Recognize it and rejoice in it. Don’t work to “walk the steel” like they do, but to learn from their experiences, and so, gain wisdom for your walk. As you do this, your mentors will be able to encourage you when you feel lost at the intersections of your life and ministry. And you’ll be able to hear them. Commercial: it’s what we do at Journey Pastoral Coaching every day. 

6. CONTROL: Maintain self-control. Do not give in to your emotions nor be led by your feelings. Emotions rise and fall; feelings come and go. Many discouraged ministers have resigned from one church to take another because of feelings of discouragement or even the absence of feelings (“I just don’t feel anything for it here anymore” or “I don’t feel God here.”). Those who act on their feelings, leaving for greener pastoral pastures, will find those feelings packed firmly in the U-Haul with their possessions and taking up their old residence in a new home and church. And in their soul. Paul tells us, “We walk by faith and not by sight” (II Corinthians 5.7). It is equally true we walk by faith and not by feelings (I refer you to Jesus, Gethsemane, and the Cross).

7. MOVE: Keep moving. Do not allow yourself to stop. We may not know every movement to make or step to take (or even how we can take a step), but we do know doing flows from being. Being is fortified as we keep moving in the life streams and spiritual disciplines that put us in a position to receive God’s grace. In addition, our being is fed as we continue to be faithful in our primary pastoral ministries of prayer, the ministry of God’s Word, and spiritual direction/making disciples. You may need to cease secondary and tertiary obligations that keep you from fulfilling primary ones, but keep moving in your essential life streams: personal spiritual life, marriage, family, mentors and peers, and fulfilling your primary pastoral duties. Yes, duties – always with an eye on them becoming delights again.  

8. PRAY: Do we even have to say it? Evidently we do, because pastors continue to confess weak prayer lives and little time given to the spiritual disciplines involved in prayer – solitude, silence, fasting, meditation on God’s Word, reflection on the God of the Word, adoration, fasting, intercession for others, supplication for ourselves. In prayer, we are refreshed in our souls, the living waters of Jesus rush through us with in streams of security, wisdom, energy, and more. And, if I may, it is in prayer that we commune with the One we love with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength. Can we love our husband or wife without talking? Will we know their love without sitting and listening? Hardly. Just so is prayer in our walk with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

9. BALANCE: Balance is critical for ministers who want to serve for a lifetime in healthy and effective ways. Ministry health and effectiveness do not come as we use external tools and techniques to grow our church or lead people. Ministry health begins with a healthy minister – in body and soul. The Apostle John writes in 3 John 1.2, “I pray that all may go well with you and that you may be in good health, as it goes well with your soul. Did you catch that – the blending of healthy body and soul? “What kind of health,” you ask. Easy: every part of you. And that means balance. Balanced time: personal, family, friends, and ministry. Balanced ministry: to God, family, colleagues, church, community, and the world. Balanced personhood: developing spiritually, mentally, emotionally, and physically. We’ll stop there.

10. PEERS: Last evening, I received two texts from members of our ministry who were attending a national counseling conference. They were pleased to report that the featured speaker was addressing attendees on the critical importance of walking in close relationships with peers for mutual encouragement, challenge, and comfort. Sadly, however, most pastors report having no close friend – a fellow pastor or otherwise. No wonder pastors suffer high rates of discouragement, depression, and burnout. God did not build us to walk alone. He designed our DNA with a built-in echo factor: we need to speak Jesus and have Jesus spoken to us by those who care for us. Even Jesus gave significant time to building relationships between His disciples. He left the crowds to mentor the Twelve and teach them how to walk together. True for the Twelve, true for you and me. (NOTE: this is a fundamental principle of Journey Pastoral Coaching; we offer young ministers the opportunity to walk with a mentor if they are willing to pay for it not with money but by investing in ministry peers. Those who join JPC only to talk with a mentor find the price too high, and so miss the joy of helping others and themselves – give and it shall be given to you, Jesus said.)

A FINAL WORD

Men’s lives were needlessly put at great risk on our job site because they failed to follow one or more of these ten essential actions. There were those who were seriously and permanently injured. One man, a professional, even lost his life on that job. Most of us have colleagues who have lived at great risk, been seriously injured, and even lost themselves for failing to do the same on the high steel of ministry. 

May you never find yourself walking steel 25 stories in the air. May you never know the sensation of a steel-framed structure swaying under your feet as you try to walk a 12-inch beam. If, for some reason, you do find yourself in this predicament, you have my counsel above. 

However, if you are a pastor walking the earth in fear, doubt, or even frozen in your situation, may these words of wisdom serve you well. They are not only the fruit of my experience from 25 stories in the air but of 40-plus years of earthly ministry. Even more, it is the wisdom shared with me by my mentors: those whom I have been privileged to know and talk with; those whose writings are available for all to read. 

Pastor, there’s no reason to feel lost in space, frozen on the high steel of ministry – even if you walk in unfamiliar or uncomfortable places. God’s grace is yours. It really is. Grace that manifests itself in courage, peace, and even confidence, though it may not feel like it at the time. 

Before we close, let me wrap up my story from the high steel. After my successful first foray out onto the steel, my boss took me back down to his office, where we had a cup of coffee, and he gave me a chance to catch my breath. We talked about work and about nothing at all before he sent me back up on the building to “get my feet under me.” There were no more duties that day except getting more comfortable on the beams and catwalks of the building. That I did. The next morning, I arrived on the job site on time, ready to work. The steel was still intimidating, but now I was armed with the knowledge, experience, and encouragement that I could meet the challenge. And, with God’s help, meet it, I did. 

With God’s help, you will meet it as well, Pastor. In Jesus’ strong name. 

Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.

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“Of all vocations, surely the gospel ministry is the one whose paradigm is most radically formed by the dynamics of godly mentorship.” 

Stephen Baldwin