I Corinthians 13 is often called “The Love Chapter.” That may be, but it is also the “How to Kill Something You Love Chapter,” and as such, is filled with great helps on how to do just that. And, as always, the Bible is not only spiritual and devotional and touchy-feely feel good, but it actually works.

So read I Corinthians 13 first and then take out the long knives as you consider . . .

How to Kill Something (You Say That) You Love

I. Don’t feed the need.

Don’t give the other person what he or she needs from you.

Any reason will do. Simply complete the Excuse From God form below and give it to your spouse, child, church or anyone who depends on you:

The “I Don’t Have to Feed the Need Excuse From God”

I’m not going to give you what you need because:

______________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

You know, excuses like, “I’m busy”; “This is an unusual time right now”, “I have things that I have to take care of”, or even, “Well, you don’t take care of ME like I want you to.” These are just a few ideas but feel free to be creative in your writing your very own excuse.

Simply write in your excuse for not taking care of the one(s) God commanded you to care for, the ones you promised Him you would take care of and God will immediately erase your responsibility.

So don’t feed it. Don’t give the person what he or she needs.

I Corinthians 13.5: (LOVE) does not behave rudely.

II. Stand up for yourself.

And do so standing on top of the other person.

This thing about serving others is way over rated. What about YOU? I mean, how can you love others if you don’t love yourself first and best, right? And that means first in line for needs, wants, demands, rights and privileges. What could be clearer!?

Besides, you’re the husband / parent / pastor / boss / etc, so you are supposed to be first and they are supposed to be second. You’re just honoring God by . . .

. . . not loving your wife as Christ loved the church – Ephesians 5.25;

. . . provoking or ignoring your children, by withholding affection and trust from them – Ephesians 6.4;

. . . by not washing others’ feet in service; after all, Jesus has that covered – John 13.12-17;

. . . by not trusting God through humility or taking the servant’s place – Matthew 20.26-27.

So stand up for yourself. And be sure to stand on others as you stand on the promises of God.

I Corinthians 13.5: (LOVE) does not seek its own.

III. Don’t worry about the promises you made.

Circumstances or the other person’s actions invalidate your promises, so you’re free to forget them.

When you think you’ve been wronged, you are immediately freed from your vows, right? I mean, you didn’t see this stuff coming when you said, “I will …,” so your promises don’t count in this stuff. I don’t know where it’s in God’s Word, but it’s there somewhere. Or it should be.

You are right and the other person is wrong. That is all that matters. You are righteous in who you are and in what you do and the other person is not. Your righteousness is so evident that you are right to act this way. And didn’t Jesus say something about getting the beam out of others’ eyes?

So don’t worry about the promises you’ve made. God understands. He really does.

I Corinthians 13.8: (LOVE) never fails.

IV. Disdain pain.

Don’t worry about the other person’s pain. It’s his or her own fault. If she hadn’t done what she did, she wouldn’t be where she is now. She deserves to feel this way.

And what if you do take a little pleasure in his pain, twisting the knife just a bit with your biting anger and your bitter words, ignoring him while making demands of him, in using & abusing him. So?

She deserves to feel this way. She needs to feel this way. If you think about it, you’re just helping her. In Jesus’ name.

So don’t worry about the other person’s pain.

I Corinthians 13.4: (LOVE) is kind.

V. Never ask for help.

You know what you’re doing. The proof is in how healthy and secure that someone you love is. It’s weakness to ask for help. It’s admitting there is something wrong and maybe wrong with you.

You don’t need to talk with anyone about you or what belongs to you. You have this thing under control and if the other person doesn’t get that, it proves that it’s him who needs help and not you.

Only unhealthy people, weak people and people with problems need help and that’s certainly not you.

So, whatever you do, don’t ever – as in never – ask for help.

I Corinthians 13.4: (LOVE) is not puffed up.

VI. Don’t respond.

When he asks for help, don’t respond. When he has success or is celebrated, don’t respond.

When she is hurt, don’t respond. When she laughs or cries, don’t respond.

When he wants to talk, don’t respond. When he reaches out for you, don’t respond.

Don’t acknowledge her in any of her ways. Let God direct all your paths without all this stuff.

I Corinthians 13.7: (LOVE) bears all things.

VII. Don’t accept responsibility for your wrongs.

It’s his fault. It’s her fault. Always. And it’s your job to remind him or her. Until Jesus comes again. And longer, if need be.

But if it is ever, somehow, maybe, possibly your fault, whatever you do, don’t admit it. Blame it on circumstances, someone else, a busy schedule, other responsibilities, traffic, even global warming.

When the other person learns that you “aren’t responsible” for anything you do, he or she will understand that you “aren’t responsible” for who you are, and so, you won’t be responsible for the life or needs of the person you say you love, the person with whom you took sacred vows before God . . .

to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for

richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.

I Corinthians 13.6: (LOVE) does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices in the truth.

Do these things and you can be sure that the one you love … will …. slowly …… begin ….… to ….…. die.

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