This is The Way
In the TV series, The Mandalorian, the title character and those of his kind are readily identified not only by their distinctive armor of protection but by the way they live. Some would identify their way of life as a set of rules or a code. But these words are insufficient in that they define the Mandalorian by forces external to him or her. The Way of the Mandalore is much more. The Way is not just a way of life; it is life itself, reflecting and giving life to all Mandalorians.
Further, while The Way is personal to each Mandalorian, it is not private to each Mandalorian: The Way is shared by all of their kind. Individually and collectively, it is a common heartbeat and mindset that both gives and expresses life in a holistic and shared way of living.
Mandalorians remind each other, ‘This is The Way.”
THE WAY NOT LEARNED OR LOST?
The first time I heard this expression on The Mandalorian, I felt as if I had been robbed: “Wait a minute! That declaration belongs to me and to all followers of Jesus! We are the people who know and live by The Way taught by Jesus in the New Testament.”
Or does it? You and I believe in Jesus, but do we walk in that way, The Way?
In His book, The Radical Disciple, John Stott includes a paragraph that should rock the world of all followers of Jesus Christ, individually and corporately:
“Some years ago, I had the opportunity of meeting and speaking with Dr. Hobart Mowrer, Emeritus Professor Psychiatry at the University of Illinois. He was well known in his day. He was not a Christian, he told me, and had a lover’s quarrel with the church. Why? Because, he said, the church had failed him as a young man and continued to fail his patients today. And he added: “The church has never learned the secret of community.” His answer is one of the most damning criticisms of the church I have ever read. For the church is community, living stones in the building of God.”
“The church has never learned the secret of community.”
Note Stott’s reaction to this jarring statement:
“His answer is one of the most damning criticisms of the church I have ever read. For the church is community, living stones in the building of God.”
And, if I may, it is a functioning organism: it is the body of Christ.
Living stones in community. Members of the same body. Should be, could be, but so often are not.
Mowrer was not a follower of Jesus but seems to describe himself as a man who wanted to be and would have been if only the church would be what the church is supposed to be. If only Mowrer could have seen active community in Christ’s body, he would have believed in the reality of the Head. Again, he described his objection to Christ in this one simple phrase:
“The church has never learned the secret of community.”
Fault Dr. Mowrer’s lack of faith if you want. Still, his critique stings with accuracy: “If there is no community, no living connections, in the “body of Christ,” how then can there be a head, Jesus Christ?”
WHO CAN SHOW US THE WAY?
Many pastors will read these words and nod their heads in agreement: “Yes, that’s it; our church needs to be a faith community, a temple of connected living stones, a body of believers who do more than worship in the same room at the same time. We need to be people who do life together – people of The Way of Jesus. If only the church could be a temple of living stones! If only my church could live as the body of Christ! If only real community defined us!”
It is within relational networks that people are transformed through mutual encouragement and correction, learn to respond to each other’s needs instead of being self-focused. Eddie Gibbs, The Journey of Ministry
But Pastor, a question for you: how can your local church walk in meaningful relationships if you, its pastor, do not walk in the way of meaningful relationships? How can your church walk in community as the body of Christ if you, its pastor, do not know the way of community? How can your church function as a temple of living stones if you live life as an isolated stone, an island unto yourself?
Most of us would be tempted to think that cultivating special friends is something done over and above (pastors’) work. I have come to believe that the developing of special friends is part of our work. Gordon MacDonald, Restoring Your Spiritual Passion
Yes, I know that you worship with believers, and you break the bread of life to them each Sunday, but who are you walking with in meaningful ways – in soul ways?
If people in your church were to ask you about your soul level connection with community, could you honestly tell them, and more importantly, show them, “This is The Way?”
Studies show that 4 out of 5 pastors are walking with no one in a personally meaningful way. Four out of five pastors live in opposition to The Way of Jesus – the way they are probably teaching. Pastor, how can you and I teach community when we are not living in community, in relationships that reach our souls, much less the souls of those outside the church?
“Wait a minute,” you say. “I have relationships: I pastor my people; I lead my board; I talk to my state director; I have lunch with ministry peers; I attend denominational meetings.”
Apples and oranges, Pastor, apples, and oranges. We “know” these people, and they “know” us, but do we really “know” each other? In French terms, you’re talking “savoir,” and I’m talking “connaître.” Subtly, but substantially different.
How so?
Ask yourself this question: what do you talk about with people in your church, your board, your denominational leader, your peers, your friends? As a pastoral coach, I can tell you with 100% confidence that 90% of pastors aren’t talking about the things that make for authentic relationships and community. Sure, we’re talking church, Growth Track, sports, the kids, the new car, COVID, politics, music, movies, etc., but we’re not talking about what matters: the health of our souls.
Paul David Tripp describes the situation this way:
Pastor, it is plain and simple: you and I need to be pastored. One of the scandals of hordes of churches is that no one is pastoring their pastor. No one is helping him see what he is not seeing. No one is helping him examine his thoughts, desires, words, and behaviors. No one is regularly calling him to confession. No one is delineating where repentance is appropriate. No one is reaching into his discouragement with the truths of the presence, promises and provision of his Savior. No one is confronting his idolatry and pride. No one is alerting him to places of temptation and danger in his life.
And that is why so many pastors struggle to survive, much less thrive. That is why so many pastors don’t survive, leaving the ministry and even the church. All for lack of community. All for lack of not just believing, but living in The Way.
Even as we preach and teach relationships and community. Even as we form and lead small group ministries. Even as we preach and teach The Way.
WHY ARE THE LONELIEST PEOPLE IN CHURCH OFTEN ITS PASTORS?
According to Barna Research, 61% of pastors are lonely and have few close friends. Other studies place the percentage as high as 80%. The fact is, most pastors have few, even no, close friends, and the truth is that this should not be.
In 2017, Barna Research found only one-third of pastors express the strongest level of satisfaction with their friendships. One in three indicates comparatively low satisfaction in this area. Consider one conclusion of the study:
“Pastors don’t do as well with friendships. They are more likely than the general population to feel isolated and lonely. Gen-X pastors in particular seem to have a harder time making friends and feeling connected . . .”
In 2017, Christianity Today published an article stating, “most relational-style pastors and missionaries average fewer personal relationships than the typical adult, and an alarming number have too few close confidants to support them in their life and calling.”
Could it be that this lack of soul-friendships and community are at least part of the reason why studies consistently show so many pastors saying . . .
- They live each “extremely stressed” or “highly stressed;”
- They are fatigued every week;
- They have experienced some significant level of burnout;
Again, could it be that this lack of soul-friendships and community is at least a part of the reason why so many ministers, especially the young, leave the ministry?
And consider this: all of the study results above are “Pre-COVID.” We’ve yet to learn the final body count of pastors who did their best to lead their churches through a global pandemic but did so in relational isolation, each one bearing the stress and strain that translates into a crash and burn.
How sad it is when pastors who care for others live effectively in a spiritual desert with no pastor to care for them. Harold Senkbeil, The Care of Souls
BUT WHAT IF WE COULD REDISCOVER “THE WAY?”
But what if we could imagine a place where ministers come together to learn and practice community – for their own health and wellbeing in The Way of Jesus Christ?
What if we could imagine a place where ministers come together to learn and practice community – so they could then teach and practice community among believers across America in The Way of Jesus Christ?
A community so tangible that it transcends space and time, able to thrive in the same room or separated by 1000 miles or even an ocean?
A community so vibrant that each member comes not to be served, but to serve – actually joins the community because he or she is looking for ways to encourage, support, challenge, and strengthen others?
A community so strong that it soul-level sorrows with those who sorrow, and soul-level rejoices with those who rejoice? Yes, so strong that members can even hear the confession of those of their number who have sinned and, in empathy, see them healed?
A community so transformational that it flows like water in daily redemption through each member to each member?
Can you imagine such a community?
CAN YOU IMAGINE SUCH A COMMUNITY?
I can. As a pastoral coach, and more important, as a follower of Jesus Christ (The Way), it’s what I live, work, and pray for every day of my life and with every fiber of my being at Journey Pastoral Coaching.
At Journey, we’re built for relationships. It’s who we are and it’s what we do – in person or via tech. When it comes to relationships and community, we were ready to deal with our minister-members’ pressures as they led their ministries through COVID because we were doing it before the pandemic hit. Leading through COVID was challenging beyond words on church leaders, but our members didn’t face it alone; they faced it together, trusting God together.
Forgive the dreams of an “old man,” but Acts 2 tells me the Holy Spirit will give old men dreams. These dreams shall not only captivate them during the night, but they will take flight during the day. They will captivate others who are open to all the Holy Spirit has for those who long for The Way, living life as The Community of Christ, His Body.
Here’s my dream . . .
May Christians, the faithful people of The Way, be known not for our distinctive armor of protection but by the way we live. Some might identify The Way of Christ as only a set of rules or a code. But these words are insufficient in that they define the believer by forces external to him or her when The Way of the Christ-follower is so much more. The Way is not just a way of life for the individual Christian; it is life itself, reflecting and giving life.
Further, while The Way is personal to each Christ-follower, it is not private to each Christ-follower: The Way is shared by all of our kind. Individually and collectively, it is a common heartbeat and mindset that both gives and expresses life in a holistic and shared way of living. That heartbeat is the living person of Jesus Christ: The Way, The Truth, and The Life.
Not only will this shared walk in The Way bring life to the body of Christ, but it will demonstrate to the world that the Christ we, the community of faith, proclaim is alive and IS life Himself.
Jesus said it first, “This is The Way.”
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