This One Thing I Would Tell You: Journey Members Offer Advice to Those Entering the Ministry (Part Two)
Thank you for clicking to read the Part Two of our “This One Thing You Must Do” article: an unpacking of the counsel Journey members would give to those just entering vocational ministry.
Once again. . .
The Scenario: There is a young man or woman in your circle of influence who is about to enter vocational ministry. This individual invites you to coffee and says to you, “You’ve been in the ministry for several years now. Please tell me what I need to do to make it in ministry. I’ve heard that 5 of 10 new ministers quit in the first 5 years. I don’t want to be one of them. What do I need to do to survive – and most of all – thrive in the ministry for the next decade and decades to come?
The Question: What one subject would you emphasize with this future minister? Think “This one thing you must do – this is the “rule to rule them all.” Don’t talk church growth, leadership techniques, management theory, etc. Talk about being. Talk the Journey mission: “Helping young ministers build strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry.”
In our previous article, Stage One, respondents gave us their Big Idea, “The one rule to rule all rules” – this one thing you MUST do. It’s a quick read you can access here.
In this article, Stage Two, respondents unpack their Big Idea OR give us an additional list of essentials for young ministers who want to build strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry. This article is a deeper look into members’ Big Idea on minister health.
The Responses:
Respondent One:
1. Get clear about your priorities. Being clear about what matters to you helps you to set aside time for what matters most, especially when ministry hits you with many demands that all seem to be important. It’s easy to say that your relationship with God is the most important thing in your life, it’s another to actually invest in it that way. Write down your personal values and priorities and be very clear about what is most important. Once you’re clear, invest your time, money, and resources in alignment with your values. 2. Make following Jesus a “team” effort. When we walk alone, any number of things can go wrong. You can become discouraged, disillusioned, or even deceived. You MUST have people in your life with whom you regularly talk and with whom you pursue discipleship together. This may include mentors or friends, but you must have people with whom you can (and do) confess sins, pray for each other, and take responsibility not just for your own faith but for those with whom you are partnering. The disciples followed Jesus as a group, so follow their example. No one will form this kind of group for you, so be the one who takes charge and makes it happen, whatever you have to do. 3. Don’t be in a hurry. It’s tempting to find the quickest or most efficient path to “success” in ministry, but don’t go for it. Do things the right way, prioritize your health, your family, and discipleship, and let God open doors for you. Shortcuts and ambitious “career moves” don’t often result in immediate consequences, but walking outside of God’s will exposes you in dangerous ways. In daily life and in your career, don’t rush. Trust God and be patient, if you are following him, you can be at peace even when ministry seems like a grind.
Respondent Two:
1. Spiritual Disciplines. Spiritual disciplines are not a list of do’s and don’ts. They are how you nurture your relationship with Him. Stay committed and consistent. 2. Live Grace. Ministry is people and people aren’t perfect. This means at some point you will get hurt by either your own failed expectations or someone else’s. You can’t control that. What you do have control over is how you handle these failures. In these moments lean into grace, both receiving and extending. Be willing to accept what is your responsibility (but not others) and apologize. Invite God’s grace to fill in the gaps where your humanity shines through and it will be amazing to see the beauty he creates out of ashes. 3. Keep Dreaming. God’s dreams are big. Your passions are big. But I promise your timeline and God’s don’t match up. You think you’re ready but God has a lot of things to teach you first. Throw yourself into those lessons. Abraham waited so many years to see his dream and promise to fruition. You must wait too. Be faithful in the waiting as God us faithful in the granting and be grateful your wait isn’t as long as Abraham’s. 4. It’s about the one. Remember God’s heart is after the hearts of each individual person. God never sees a crowd. He always sees a bunch of ones. You must too. Every moment of ministry is about reaching one. One is always worth it. Listen as God directs you to the ones.
Respondent Three:
1. Remain close to Jesus through spiritual disciplines. Make a consistent, routine habit of connecting with Jesus through key spiritual disciplines. Daily be in the Word and talk to God in prayer. Weekly practice Sabbath. Determine through prayer how to practice other important disciplines like fasting, solitude, worship, confession, etc., knowing that these rhythms may change seasonally. 2. Remain close to others by intentionally fostering community. Intentionally foster close relationships with followers of Jesus you can trust. Frequently interact 1:1 and in larger groups. Have fun and also be real about life and ministry struggles together. If you find yourself in a season or place where no one knows what is going on in your life, run as fast as you can to a trusted friend or mentor. Isolation can kill any follower of Jesus, not just ministers. 3. Cultivate a life of learning. Never stop reading. Read fun, read deep, and read old. Don’t forsake strong spiritual writing from decades before for shiny new titles of today. Read authors who will challenge you to walk closely with Jesus not just grow the church.
Respondent four:
1. Talk/Meet with your pastor no less than once a month for a minimum of 60 minutes. Give your pastor time and space in which to pastor you. Every minister assumes that they should be reading their Bible, praying, fasting, etc.; we all at least pay lip-service to spiritual disciplines. But consistent communication with your pastor will increase the likelihood that those disciplines are truly alive in your life every day (i.e., they are carrying you to Jesus daily). Let them help you grow sweet and deep with Jesus. 2. Talk/Meet with other pastors no less than once a month for a minimum of 60 minutes. Give yourself to a community of friends in ministry, in which your peers can pastor you—and in which you can pastor your peers. This is where iron begins to sharpen iron so that genuine accountability can occur; this is where the potential for multiplication ministry begins to develop and be discovered (by you and by your peer community). Grow sweet and deep with Jesus, together! 3. Talk/Meet with a disciple of Jesus who senses a call to ministry—or a ministry-apprentice who is pursuing a call to ministry—no less than once a month for a minimum of 60 minutes. Make it a priority from Day 1: You will invest in younger ministers. Be a Barnabas to a Saul, absolutely (read #2 again); but also, be a Paul to a Timothy. The next generation needs you just as much as you needed the generation before you. Make sure you give the next generation what you needed, whether or not you received it from the previous generation. Allow younger ministers grow sweet and deep with Jesus, with you!
Respondent Five:
1. Deep relationships with God and other pastors, younger, peers, and older will sustain healthy, flourishing ministry.
Respondent Six:
1. Take time each week to discover your worth outside of vocational ministry. It is easy to tie your identity and worth to your ability and performance as a pastor. Take time each week to discover your worth outside of ministry – child of God, made in God’s image, co-heir with Christ, etc. 2. There is always more that can be done in ministry. There will always be people who need discipled and people left unsaved. It can be easy to overwork and miss out on the important things on family and life or to burn out. 3. Ministry is more about helping others. Seminary teaches students how to be the best versions of themselves. Ministry is more than being the best preacher, teacher, musician, pastor, etc. Ministry is more about helping others know how God uniquely gifted them to fulfill the Great Commission.
Respondent Seven:
1. Paul encourages Timothy to watch his life and doctrine. I have always thought of that verse in this way. That my life would match my doctrine, and that my doctrine would always be refined edging closer and closer or deeper into the truth of who God is and who I am and how I can offer my life in worship to him. If my doctrine is off, my life will be off and I will lead myself and others to destruction. If my life does not match my doctrine, I lead myself and others to destruction. It has to be an integral whole that comes out genuinely to lead to a fruitful life and ministry.
Respondent Eight:
1. Isolation will be the death of your ministry. You need someone other than your spouse to walk alongside you in this journey of ministry. You may even need a counselor to talk to and no that doesn’t make you any less of a pastor or ministry leader, it makes you human. When you can be honest with yourself, I believe you will be able to minister to the people around you more effectively. Also find other pastors and church staff members outside of your church to talk to. You can learn from each other and having someone who has been in ministry longer than you can help you when struggles come your way, because they will come. 2. Give yourself permission to fail. Failure is not the end of an idea, it is just the beginning. Learn from those moments and problem solve to pivot into something new. Allow yourself to accept grace from others and from yourself. 3. Create rhythms in your life to put in practice on a daily basis. Reading the Bible, Prayer life, living in community, practicing generosity, worship.
Respondent Nine:
Unpacking my advice. I wish I would have been prepared for my biggest challenge in ministry being ME, not someone else. When I look at the leaders who are healthy and lasting, it’s those who are doing the deep, inner work. Here are some ways you can do that: 1) Find a Therapist 2) Find a mentor 3) Have a close group of friends who will be honest with you 4) Find Resources. Read books like , ‘The Emotionally Healthy Leader’, ‘Forgiving What You Can’t Forget’. Or listen to podcasts regarding key areas where you struggle. 5) Get to know yourself really well. Know your personality type, enneagram number, strengths and weaknesses. The more you know you, the smoother this process will go.
Respondent Ten:
List of essentials: 1. Consistent Devotion Time No matter what. Keep your time with God sacred. Not just for sermon prep, inspiration or to check it off. Fall more in love with Jesus with your bible reading, prayer and worship time. 2. Love your family and protect them Keep boundaries with time and what is expected for your spouse (if applicable). Love them with your time. Protect your time. Stay present. Love them! 3. Continue to be a lifelong learner Continue to read, listen to podcasts and never stop learning! It doesn’t have to be a seminary degree but continue to learn and grow!
Respondent Eleven:
1. Watch your thought life – If you catch yourself feeling like God hasn’t opened the right doors or done what you thought He would, watch the negativity. Spiritual resentment is a dangerous place to be. 2. Guard your integrity – When we get cynical, and lose our gratitude, or endure unexpected hardship-we are more vulnerable to vices that can carry consequences for ourselves and others. 3. Maintain your passion – Let your love for Jesus deepen in whatever season you find yourself.
Respondent Twelve:
1. Be a Disciple. You must have someone who is older then you that you can walk with. Who encourages you, prays for you, and rebukes you. This must be an active relationship, someone who knows what is going on in your life. 2. Live with Disciples. You must be walking with other ministers at similar life stages, not necessarily similar calling, that you are close enough to cry with and comfortable enough with to give a hard time. 3. Make Disciples. You must be pouring into the next generation of ministers. You must be making disciples of pagans outside of your ministry. Your calling to vocational ministry does not replace your calling to make disciples as a christian.
Respondent Thirteen
Not just here and there, but having a concrete time with Jesus every day. This is the call in John 15 to abide in him and without him we cannot bear fruit. Praise him in worship, pray through his word, and spend time in silence listening for his voice to speak into your life. Then throughout the day pray continually and be in constant fellowship with Jesus.
Respondent Fourteen
1. Prayer and Silence; in a world that’s constantly loud and moving you need to find time to be in silence before God and in prayer with Him. 2. Worship; worship with your life, let every aspect of your being be in constant step with the Holy Spirit through a life of worship. 3. Share what you’ve heard with other ministers; the counsel of the wise is important for your growth. Unpack questions and the leading of God with other ministers you trust. 4. Get a Mentor, be a Mentor; you need to have someone pouring into you and you need to be pouring into someone this will keep you from becoming stagnant. Keep pushing yourself so you can push others. 5. Finally Trust the calling; God didn’t call you to this position if He didn’t think you could thrive in it. Trust that his intentions for you are to bless you and give you a hope and a future, Just like the scripture teaches. Enjoy the marathon.
Respondent Fifteen
Cultivating your personal relationship with God is not optional but vital to your calling. Without a growing and thriving personal relationship with Christ, your calling will be stagnant. You will never be able to achieve the plans God has called you to in your power.
Respondent Sixteen
1. Submit to godly leadership. Find someone who is following hard after God and follow them. Not just when you feel like it, but all the time. Model their way of life. Submit. Come under. 2. Submit to godly friends and fellowship. Delve deep in friendships and allow these people to shape and influence your life. Be willing and eager to be held accountable. 3. Allow God to do the deep work. When life gets painful, don’t bail. Trust Jesus. Trust the plan He has for your life. Let Him shape you in the valleys and through the storms. 4. Find a healthy way to get a godly perspective of your life. Whether realizing success or perceived failure, everyone needs a way to find a godly perspective on his or her life. This may through conversations with friends and mentors, it may be through silence and solitude, it most certainly will be through prayer and the Word. Take time to allow your perspective to be changed and shaped. This will make or break you. How you perceive things will determine how you live your life and whether you run to the end or give up half way. 5. Listen. Listen to what people are saying. Listen to what God has said and is saying.
Respondent Seventeen
1. Check your Physical Ministry pulse. On a regular basis you need to assess how your physical body is feeling. Are you always tired? Are you losing or gaining an unhealthy amount of weight? Are you able to sleep well? Are you feeling anxious or stressed? All these questions can lead you to discover unhealthy lifestyles that could drastically impact your ability to persevere in your ministry Journey. 2. Check your Mental Ministry pulse. On a regular basis have one on one time with your thoughts. Assess the health of your inner thoughts. How is your self-talk? Are you overall positive or negative when it comes to how you think about yourself or your ministry Journey? If begin to notice unhealthy thought patterns, dig in find the cause and seek out Jesus for healing. If you are mentally unhealthy it will lead to burnout. 3. Check your Spiritual Ministry Pulse. How is your walk with the Father? Are you Spiritually nourished? Assess how your Spiritual disciplines are going. More than checking boxes, but are you growing? Do you feel like your weekly ministry responsibilities are fulfilling the deep Spiritual Longings Christ has given you? Are you using the Spiritual Gifts uniquely given to you? If not, you must talk to your lead pastor and discuss these deep desires and figure out how to do them. 4. Check your relationship pulse. How are you and your spouse? Don’t minimize any marital strains that ministry is putting on your marriage. How is your relationship with your lead pastor? Watch your attitude. Look out for bitterness or resentment. Fight for unity and clarity. How is your relationship with your children? Only you can be their mother or father. Nobody else can do that for you or replace that role. Your ministry is always refillable. Your role as mother or father is for life!
Respondent Eighteen
1. Know your strengths and weaknesses. I think often times we are not aware of these at an early age in ministry and we try to become all things to all people. What a travesty. Know who you are and grow in who you are. 2. Don’t compare yourself. Comparison really is the thief of joy. Other people have different callings than you, and that’s ok. You have different callings than them too. Instead of comparing, rejoice in who God made others to be. Their success doesn’t stop you from being successful. Plus, you want them to celebrate with you when good things happen, do it for them. 3. Relax. You are far better than what you think you are and not nearly as good as others say you are. So relax. You’re right where you are suppose to be I this time of your life. Serve Jesus and love others today!
Respondent Nineteen
1. Stay Close to Jesus. You will be tempted to worry about numbers, your own personal growth, the opinions of others, the trajectory of your “career,” etc. First and foremost in your calling as a minister is your creation as a child of God. If you allow anything else to pull you away from this primary relationship, your ministry will suffer. Keep your eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of your faith. 2. Rest in Grace. You will be tempted to push forward through fatigue, either through demands of others or through your own desire to genuinely serve and do good things. Grace is not just an erasing of your sin. It’s a forgiveness for your sinful desire to be more than you were created to be. God doesn’t call you to burn out or to stretch yourself to the breaking. Rest more than you might think your mind, body, or soul need. 3. Walk with Someone. You will be tempted to hide your innermost being and thoughts from others and to think you can figure out life and ministry by yourself. This is, in and of itself, a temptation to be more than God created you to be. He created you for relationships with other people and to be limited in your abilities. You need others and they need you. Find a trusted friend and spiritual coach who will walk with you. They should be trustworthy, honest, genuinely concerned for you, and should drip with grace and love. Look for these relationships relentlessly if you don’t have them.
Respondent Twenty
1. Encourage yourself through the Word. As a pastor, people in the church expect encouragement from you, but don’t always give it back. Find verses that encourage you to not give up when it’s hard and memorize them! Focus on the “little” victories when you’re dealing with discouragement. Those memory verses and victories will be your rock in hard times. 2. Pray in the Spirit. Sometimes you can’t articulate prayers when your having a hard time. You may not want to pray at all during hardship. This is when your prayer language is most vital. Pray in the Spirit and watch how God will lift you and speak to you. 3. Don’t sacrifice devotions for ministry. As a pastor you get busy with sermon prep, doing ministry, etc. You cannot afford to exchange your time with the Lord for doing ministry because you will dry up. You have to be filled up in order to pour into others.
Respondent Twenty-one
1. Ministry takes, Jesus gives, ministry is work, Jesus is life. Ministry will destroy your family crush your heart and bankrupt your soul, Jesus will protect your family, heal your heart and fill your soul to overflowing. 2. The first congregation God gives us to disciple, protect, teach equip and love is our spouse followed by our children – 1 Timothy 3:4; 1 Peter 3:7. You will live and thrive doing ministry together as you tend their needs, or you will burn out and fall apart.
Respondent Twenty-two
1. You have to find ways to be grateful. Ministry will inevitably wound you. That’s what people do, and pastoring is about people. You have to find ways to be grateful or ministry is prone to create bitterness, resentment, and disillusionment. Sometimes this is in the form of prayer or worship, sometimes hobbies or just a drive with music you love. You have to cultivate gratitude that the work itself is not dependent on.
Respondent Twenty-three
1. Have someone to walk with. You will not survive alone. You cannot do it alone. You need someone, or multiple people, who will walk through this life of ministry with you. If you isolate yourself, you will die. 2. Have someone who will help you stay close to Jesus. Have a person that will push you in your pursuit of Jesus and who is willing to ask you the tough questions. Be honest with them and yourself. 3. Have someone that will help you develop grit. Ministry isn’t easy. You’re dealing with people and sometimes they can be quite mean. If you’re soft skinned, you won’t last. Develop a healthy grit that’ll help you take the shots that you will get and learn how to process them in a way that keeps you fulfilling your calling. As iron sharpens iron so does one man sharpen another. This person may not always say what you want to hear, but they’ll say what is needed. 4. Have someone who will make you grow. If you’re the same leader year 5 as you were day 1, you’ve robbed yourself and your flock of growth. Have someone who will push you to grow in your leadership and ministry capacity. This isn’t numerical. This is you as a leader and your abilities.
Respondent Twenty-four
1. Devotion and time with God every day. This can easily be skewed. In ministry you are helping others and telling others about Jesus. This should not be a substitution for your personal time with God. 2. Connection and community with others, especially those that point you to Jesus. Community with others is vital. Having others in your life that you allow call you on things and help you refocus when needed. 3. Ask for wise council and feedback from those you trust. This is key in growth and helping you remain focused on what matters. Be sure to ask from those you trust. Everyone has opinions, learn which ones to listen to. 4. Take breaks often and Sabbath every week. If you go, go, go, you will burnout, burnout, burnout. Weekly Sabbath, separated from responsibilities and work is vital each week. Yearly breaks/vacations are also needed to completely disconnect for a period of time. 5. Savor the moments, good and bad. Each moment, every season, are all important and necessary for growth. Be sure to slow down enough so that you don’t miss the moments that God has placed you in.
Respondent Twenty-five
1. Prioritize time to walk with Him. Broadly speaking this could be any of the spiritual disciplines. And the disciplines you practice will change depending on the season of life you are in or the circumstances. 2. Make walking with Him your Lifestyle. A relationship with Christ isn’t something you fit into the margins of your day. Begin to cultivate your relationship with Christ such that you consciously walk with him throughout your day. 3. You cannot and will not save the entire world. It is not your job to save people’s souls or fix their lives. God has called you to make disciples as an extension of your discipleship relationship with Him. And although it will be hard at times, you must create boundaries so you do not take responsibility for the pain or the results of your ministry. But by focusing on your relationship with Christ, He will bring about His work through your life; so you don’t need to stress about it. Walk in peace by walking in Him.
Respondent Twenty-six
1. Know God. God doesn’t just want senseless obedience he wants relationship through our obedience. He longs to know you and for you to know him. For you and him to be as one. Step in step. Living and breathing. This is the true beauty of ministry. Many blessings will come but all will pale in comparison of walking with God intimately.
Respondent Twenty-seven
1. Learn to say no to things that aren’t essential. You will always have things you have to do. You will always have things you need to do. But when we bog down with a bunch of others things that don’t leave us time for those essentials then we may burn out physically, mentally, spiritually. So no to the inessential things to leave time for intimacy with God, family and personal discipleship. If any of those three are inhibited you will not succeed 2. Learn to say no to negativity from within. We always will be our own biggest critic. If we let that self-critical voice get too loud or we listen to it too often we won’t succeed in ministry 3. Learn to say no to outside voices. There is always someone that won’t be happy with what we do or how we lead or even who we are at times. Every church you go to will have 1 of these. You cannot run to a different church to escape it. Often times these people may make ministry hard. You must learn to say no to listening to those voices or you may start believing what they say. Trust your calling and what you know God is leading you to do.
Respondent Twenty-eight
1. Grow in the fruit of the spirit. A minister who does not exhibit the fruit of the minister is the worst kind. The people closest to him/her may learn a great deal about performing services, but they will also observe a life that looks little like Jesus. 2. Keep the Sabbath. Too many ministers determine their worth by the amount of time they devote to the ministry. They sacrifice their health and their family to minister to other people. The God of the universe became human (Jesus) and maintained a healthy balance in his life. This must be a top priority for any minister. 3. Spend more time with fewer people. Ministry will inevitably pull you into countless encounters with many people. This is a necessary and good part of the “work.” Even so, ministers should focus more time on the few people who they can disciple deeply. This is the pattern of Jesus and it will help you focus. 4. Cherish the small things. Many new ministers approach the ministry like a corporate ladder. They want to climb to higher heights and gain notoriety. The healthiest ministers I have ever known cherished doing the small, unseen things. They loved to do their work in the background. These men and women prioritize genuinely pointing people to Jesus!
Respondent Twenty-nine
1. Consistently re-cultivate your relationship with God. You will hear quite often that you cannot lead out of an empty cup. Which, in my opinion, is not true. You absolutely can give out of an empty cup but you will be only be feeding them with fumes while you’re burning off gas. Consistently go back and re-cultivate and take time to recommit and re-evaluate where you are with Jesus. Your relationship with God is your responsibility. Guard that relationships with your life. Seasons will come and go, but that relationship will be the anchor for every season. 2. Surround yourself with intentional relationships. Ministry is lonely especially with the more responsibility given. Surround yourself intentionally with friends that you can confide in but also just have fun with on a regular basis. You are not super human and you need relationship. Remember this. You also need to be surrounded by accountability, mentors, a coach, and your own person pastor to walk with you. 3. Your call, Your life, Your journey. Your journey will not look like the next person so be cautious of the thief of comparison. This is what God has called you to, it’s your life and your journey. It will probably not look like the way you expect it to. If you’re bi-vocational or if you are called to marketplace ministry for a while, please remember that you are STILL called. Every season and chapter will look different, that is healthy and okay., Stay open handed and ready to say “yes” to Jesus in whatever that looks like for you.
Respondent Thirty
1. Read the Word of God. Let the Word of God speak for itself. Study it, meditate on it, and memorize portions of scripture to declare over yourself every day. 2. Pray every day. Before you pray, sit in silence and allow God’s voice to speak first. He will direct you first thing in what to pray for. You can also write out prayers to God. It’s cool to look back and see what God is speaking to you. Pray what’s on your heart and see throughout your day what God is doing 3. Spiritual Community. You need other pastors in your life to support you, encourage you, pray over you, have fun with, challenge you, confess to, etc. You can’t do it alone.
Respondent Thirty-one
1. Pursue deeper Faith. Spend time in Gods word and in prayer. Having a deep faith will give you strength and empowerment to do the work of the Lord. 2. Grow in leadership. True leaders should have a desire to grow. We grow by reading and asking questions if trusted leaders. Growing in your leadership will increase your capacity to make a bigger impact for the kingdom. 3. Know who you are and your purpose. Self awareness is key to effective leadership. Also, knowing that you are a child of the king changes your perspective on life. Knowing your purpose will keep you focused.
Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.
We are able to do so thanks to the faithful and generous support of individuals and churches like yours who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry.
Now, more than ever, we need your help.
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