Pastoral coaching, though it is biblical ministry and central to the ministry and mission of Jesus, is often a new thought for some followers of Christ.  Oddly enough, non-Christians seem to instinctively “get it.”  They see that Jesus talked to thousands, but He walked with twelve.

In conversations with Christians and non-Christians about pastoral coaching (and our focus on young ministers), many of the questions revolve around the single subject of just “who” it is that walks with a pastoral coach:

Who are the best (and worst) candidates for pastoral coaching?

Which young ministers get the most out of Journey Pastoral Coaching (JPC)?

Here is how I answer. “Those who get the most out of pastoral coaching look something like this . . .”

 

1. They love the God of the Word as revealed in the Word of God.

Their authority for life and practice is the Word of God. They can’t get enough Bible.  They can’t wait to submit their beliefs and experiences to the standard of the Scriptures. They don’t want their ideas about God to be formed by their own imaginations, the imaginations of others, or the imaginations of culture. They long to clearly see and understand the highest authority of the Christian life, the Word of God.

I am a Christian pastoral coach.  I don’t do non-Christian coaching. This means the Bible is foundational to all my coaching relationships:  We will talk Bible; we will seek to satisfy our mutual hunger for God’s Word and to prostrate our beliefs, live and actions before the authority of God of the Word.

One way we act on this at JPC is through a tool we call our “Discipleship Checkup.”  Using the Scriptures, we depend on the Holy Spirit to guide us in asking ourselves the hard questions about our life in Christ. Those who look forward to such self-examinations always get the most out of pastoral coaching in general and especially pastoral coaching as we do it at Journey.

 

2. They explore and ask questions rather than explain and give answers.

Those who get the most out of pastoral coaching know what they know, but the more they know, the more they want to know about what they don’t know.  The proof?  They ask questions.  Those who get the most from coaching always bring more questions than answers to our conversations.

Rather than stubbornly explain their answers to life and ministry, they steadfastly explore the questions of life and ministry.  When I hear a young minister who is persists in justifying his point of view and why he is right, this tells me coaching is not yet possible.  Not until her mind is open to self-awareness and learning.

It’s called being teachable.  It’s called being humble.  It’s called being wise.

 

3. They pursue growth rather than reinforcement in their status quo.

Anyone can pat me on the back for being good at standing still, but who will challenge me forward and farther? Plain and simple, ministers who seek growth, grow: they will always profit from walking with a pastoral coach.

But just saying  you are a seeker is not the same as being a seeker, one who actively seeks.

The seeker is the one who may accept the pat on the back, but even as he does, he is moving on to the next growth goal, asking for more challenge, more encouragement, more “going deep.”  He continually seeks to build the minister (himself), and so, to build the ministry.

In Journey, several members have the habit of taking notes or journaling as they do life and ministry. Their notes include questions they want to discuss with me in our next coaching session.

These are the members that make “Journey” more than a great name for a coaching ministry. They make me dig deep. They continually challenge me forward and farther in my life and ministry in Jesus.  They are the members who create a coaching community that feeds and grows us all as we share the Journey of life in ministry.

 

4. They don’t live a life of protest, but of proclamation.

Healthy ministers are focused on growing their lives in the truth.  They aren’t focused on a fallen world, wrapped up in complaining about issues, people, or events. Their passion is not to identify where others are wrong, but to identify where they themselves need to grow so that they may more clearly present and proclaim Jesus to a world, and church, filled with imperfect people.

They know that faultfinding too quickly becomes definitive and debilitating. It invisibly blinds us to the real issue at hand:  not focusing on what is wrong with others, but on where I need to grow and how I can most authentically live out The Faith, whatever the circumstances in which I find myself.

When we were missionaries in French-speaking Europe, we met many people who were intrigued to meet followers of Jesus, people who actually practiced our faith – “des pratiquants.”  They would refer to us as “Protestants,” to which I would respond, “We prefer to be called proclaimers:  we are protesting nothing; we are proclaiming the One who is everything:  life, love, peace, and justice.

Those who get the most out of pastoral coaching are the ones who see the injustices in life, but they focus their lives on the One who is perfect Justice personified.

 

5. Jesus is the center of their lives.

Those who get the most from coaching set Jesus as the center of their being, and so, at the center of their doing. They know that they are not perfect, but with Jesus as the author and finisher of their faith, they are ever pressing in toward the mark, seeking to seize that for which Jesus has seized them.

This means that they measure and define  themselves only by Jesus:

Not by what others are or are not.  Not by what others think they are or are not.  Only by Jesus.

Not by their last sermon or service, trophy or trauma.  Only by Jesus.

Not by themselves.  Only by Jesus.

Like the bubble on a carpenter’s level, they set Jesus is at the center of their lives.  And they are grateful when their pastoral coach or peer-mentors calls them back to the center.

Like a branch on a vine, they continually seek Jesus as the center of their lives.  And they are grateful when God uses their pastoral coach or peer-mentors to prune them so they can be more fruitful for Him.

Those who get the most from coaching are those who look in the mirror and see themselves accurately, even as they live to see the reflection of Jesus in their lives.  Jesus as the center.

 

6. They enjoy working hard.

Those who get the most out of pastoral coaching are self-starters and have a solid work ethic.

The lazy minister loves to talk about ministry, the committed disciple loves to walk it: they don’t just endure the hard work of the ministry, they enjoy it.

I’ll let you in on a secret:  the busy always find a way to get things done.

When I worked for a well-known big-brown-truck delivery company, I was one of four customer service representatives in our center.  The bosses often loaded more and more work on three of us, giving little extra work to the fourth.  When we asked why they did this, their response was simple, “Because as busy as you are, you always find a way to get it done and she doesn’t.”

However busy the minister, she finds a way to get it done. Through efficiency, delegation, or hard work, she gets it done  And however busy she is, she always makes time to complete the assignments that come with being a part of the JPC coaching community.

My job as a coach is not to motivate ministers to work, but to encourage them live and work in a healthy and continually more effective way.  And they do it: they get it done.

 

7. They’re hungry lifelong learners.

Those who get the most from pastoral coaching are always hungry for more, more, more food for learning and growth.  Today and every day over the course of a lifetime, they’re lifelong learners.

Books, blogs, conferences, classes, podcasts, sermons, teaching, sit-downs with leaders, and Bible – those who get the most out of coaching have an insatiable appetite for truth, knowledge and growth.

I have a handful of Journey members who predate the founding of Journey: I’ve coached them on an ongoing basis for almost a decade.  They are quality individuals. Our conversations have always included the mining of the mother lodes of wisdom and learning from historical and contemporary Christian ministers.  But it is not a one-sided conversation: these young ministers bring me many incredible resources that have been a great blessing to my life and ministry. Just last weekend I spoke at a retreat for one of our members.  Before the retreat began, as we enjoyed conversation in his home, he handed me a book and said, “Pastor, this is the book I was telling you about on the phone last time.”  I love it.

Our shared passion in Journey for lifelong learning from church history’s wise men and women has not only enriched our lives, but it has knit our souls together in ways that is not possible by other means.

Those who get the most out of pastoral coaching are on a lifetime, passionate pursuit of truth, knowledge, wisdom, discipleship, challenge, inspiration, and understanding.  They eat all I bring to them in coaching and always ask for more.

 

8. They don’t avoid the “uninteresting” subjects,

The unserious are always willing to talk about the subjects they find interesting, but “religiously” avoid the “uninteresting,” subject however important the coach believes it to be.  The unserious says, “No, I don’t care about that,” where the serious tell me, “Pastor, if you think it’s important, let’s do it.”  The serious minister wants the light to shine in every subject the coach brings, however “uninteresting.”

This involves a second and important aspect:  pastoral coaching is not pastoral counseling.  Where pastoral counseling focuses on the individual’s personal problems and fixing them, pastoral coaching focuses on the individual’s life in ministry and on growing it.  Where counseling focuses on repairing what is broken, coaching focuses on goals and growth.

Those who get the most out of pastoral coaching are those who come for pastoral coaching and all it offers.  They don’t hide from the personally uninteresting and uncomfortable – they pursue them.  They don’t hide in personal problems and predicaments – they go deeper to foundational growth that sustains them, whatever their situation and circumstances..  They come to pastoral coaching in order to focus on growing strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry.

 

9. They are rock-solid readers of the Word of God and of sound books.

Ruts and grooves . . .

Coaching conversations with non-readers invariably fall into ruts:  well-worn, self-measured ruts of opinions, excuses, and complaints.  Attempts to move people out of their ruts are met with resistance.  Development of the minister and ministry are slow going, like chiseling an angel out of stone.

Coaching conversations with serious readers invariably flow in grooves:  an overflow of deep and always intriguing currents of principles, reasons, and possibilities. Now and then these find themselves in a rut of resistance, but invariably, the serious reader breaks through into ever deepening grooves of growth.

Fast food and soul food . . .

Coaching conversations with those who only read the latest “must read” books are smorgasbords of faddish fast foods.  Conversations with those whose only “library” is social media and the Internet swamp tend to be “have you heard the latest” rehashes of headlines, schemes, and events.  These “readers” have the bits of cool and culture set firmly in their teeth and they are very difficult to lead to living water.

Both coaching conversations with serious students of the Bible and meaty Christian books are fine-dining experiences on true soul foods, the most satisfying of heart-and-mind meals.  Together we feast on Matthew, Mark, Luke, John and Paul, as well as Augustine, Bonhoeffer, Calvin, Elliott, and Schaeffer – minister and ministry sustaining foods that ground the minister in God’s true and transcendent principles.

Those who get the most from pastoral coaching know the difference between fast food and soul food, or, at the very least, they are more than open to exploring because they are hungry for that which satisfies.

 

10. They focus on “being” more than “doing.”

Ministers who focus on how many are attending their meetings, how exciting their events are, etc, are ultimately focused on how they are doing.  These experience little personal growth – through pastoral coaching or anything else:  the door to growth is closed and bolted shut.

Until attendance numbers drop, event excitement crashes, or a crisis strikes.  It is then, as they struggle to survive, that being takes precedence over doing.  It is then that being becomes important.  And it is then that growth, real growth, becomes possible.

When I find a minister who is not willing to talk about his being, ie, his thought life, his faith struggles, his great questions, his pain, I know that we are still in a pre-coaching phase.  We have to break through the concrete and get down to the soil of his heart where the Word of God can be planted and the Spirit of God can do His work.

 

11. They seek to live virtuous lives. They seek to be holy as God is holy.

In a world where holiness is mocked, those who get the most out of pastoral coaching are committed to holiness in these two critical ways:

They long to be conformed to the image of Jesus – sanctification;

They long to live worthy of the vocation to which Jesus has called them – consecration.

Holiness.

Holiness has been assigned a negative or pejorative connotation by our culture, and too often, by too many in the church.  And yet, this warning is still in the Bible:  “Pursue peace with all people and pursue holiness, without which no one will see the Lord  (”Hebrews 12.14).

Pastoral coaching is really a conversation on holiness because it is a shared journey in just how to fulfill the reasons for our creation and call, how to please the One who has created and called us, whatever our position, situation, circumstances, successes or failures.

Consecration.  Sanctification. Holiness.  Old words? Maybe.  But outdated ideas?  Not at all: these words and truths are eternal and transcendent, crossing all times and cultures in calling us to Christ.

Those who get the most from pastoral coaching are those who not only accept help, but long for and ask for help, in being holy as God is holy (I Peter 1.6).

 

12. They say “thank you.”

Those who get the most out of coaching do so because they walk in grace.  They’re not just covered in grace (aren’t we all!), but their souls, their attitudes, their words, their actions are awash in grace.

And you can identify these individuals because they say “thank you.”  They know that, being human, all of life is grace: none of us deserve anything good from God or life, we have done nothing to merit God’s favor. Those who get the most from pastoral coaching acknowledge God’s amazing grace by walking humbly with others and by saying thank you to them for God’s grace through them.

Those who say “thank you” know their need of help from God and from others.  They humble themselves to ask for it.  And they humble themselves to say thank you to all who lend them a hand, in great ways or in small.

These get the most from pastoral coaching because they understand their need of God’s grace.

 

CONCLUSION

Which young ministers are candidates for pastoral coaching?  Any and all.

But which young ministers get the most from pastoral coaching?  The serious seekers, for those who seek, find (Matthew 7.7)

Which young ministers get the most from pastoral coaching?  Those who join the Apostle Andrew in daily asking Jesus, “Master, where do you dwell?”  And they know what to do when Jesus answers them, “Come and see” (John 1).

Led by the Holy Spirit, and with the assistance of their pastoral coach and peer mentors, they run hard to come to Jesus that they might see, seek, discover, and grow.

Who profits most from pastoral coaching?  Who gets the most benefit from it?

In a word, those who bring the most to it.

 

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NOTE: Journey Pastoral Coaching provides pastoral coaching to Millennial ministers.

Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.

So we offer it to them at NO COST:  Member do not PAY for coaching; they EARN it.

We are able to do so through the faithful and generous gifts of friends who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry. If you or your church would like to help Millennial ministers in 21 US states and 5 nations build strong for a lifetime in ministry, please click here to contact us by email or to support Journey monthly or with your one-time gift. Thank you.

We also invite you to click and subscribe to our twice-monthly blogs at journeypastoralcoaching.com