In my most recent blog on the subject of pastoral staffs, I listed 10 things that staff pastors hope to receive from their lead pastors. To read the full piece, click here, but those ten “treasures” are:

1.   Be a pastor who leads, not a leader who pastors.

2.   Respect: See me not as an employee, but as a minister.

3.   Membership: Allow me to be a member of your pastoral leadership team.

4.   Example: Be the quality of person before your staff that you want your staff to be before you.

5.   Mentorship: Help me build my life for now and for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry.

6.   Communication: Communicate often and clearly with me.

7.   Trust: Trust me with leadership, always under your supervision, of course.

8.   Support: Have my back just as I have yours. Believe in me, be loyal to me.

9.   Resources: Allow me to have what I need to go where you want me to go with you in ministry

10. Appreciation: tell me that you value me, and that I bring value as a member of your staff.

In today’s blog, we hear from staff pastors. I recently asked staff pastors across America to respond to the same question I addressed in my most recent blog. Their answers were very insightful. Here are twenty of their responses, written in their own words. All are anonymous. All are used with permission.

The Question: “What do you need from your lead pastor?”

1. “What I would like from my pastor is that we could connect often enough so that I can honestly assess how helpful I am being to him and so that I can understand his vision.”

2. “I desire for my lead pastor to mentor and care for me like my Father would. To trust, correct, and at times rely on me. Ultimately to make me a better man in Christ.”

3. “I want all lead pastors to see the true potential within a female pastor. To have a senior pastor who sees what a woman – a wife and mother – can truly offer. To not make her choose between her “call” and her “motherhood.” To see any woman in ministry as an individual who has been called to do both, and that with Christ we can do both. It may look different than that of a male pastor but a woman can be both pastor and mom. If that means allowing a female pastor with small kids to work from home…than let her. Let her prove to you she can do both. If a senior pastor gives a female pastor the freedom to be both pastor and mom, she will not fail you! Women already multitask in so many areas of life….it would be wonderful to have a senior pastor who sees a woman’s uniqueness and embraces it instead of trying to form and mold us into the likeness of our male counterparts.”

4. “One of the things that has been on my heart lately is for my senior pastor to acknowledge the hard work and effort I have been putting in to improving myself as a man, a husband, a father, and as a leader/staff pastor. To hear appreciation on that front would just make my month.”

5. “What I would ask of my lead pastor is that I be more involved in the day in, day outs of ministry. That’s something I feel I have little experience in, the financial aspects, etc.”

6. “What I desire of my lead pastor is that he would just give clear expectations of what he REALLY expects of me. It’s tough figuring that stuff out. Job requirements are usually more than what’s on the application. And… I’d say not micromanaging. Most of our staff meeting time is maintenance and not vision. I’d love to dream and brainstorm as a staff for a change and not feel like I have to have an answer to how I’m dealing with this, that, or the other thing.”

7. “What I need from my lead pastor is to see me as equally as called and that he would be conscious of the load that he requires me to carry.”

8. “My senior pastor is the spiritual leader of the church with many pressures, responsibilities, and he gets all of the blame if things go wrong and the praise if things go right. It is my goal as “Support” Staff, to see his vision and values for the church (he needs to clarify them), then live that out in my specific ministry context. Beyond that, I need to support and help him in anyway that I can, I need to pray for him, honor him, speak well of him, take responsibilities off him that I am equipped to do, fill in and/or be available at all times to fill in for him and let him know that I am ready to do anything for him. Be very supportive and affirming. As a staff pastor I need to care for his kids and spoil them. All I desire is leadership to where he wants “generally” the church to go, and for him to invest in me vocationally, spiritually, and be a friend in life whenever he can. I am to be supportive, like an Aaron to a Moses.”

9. “I want my pastor to see beyond the obvious gifts and talents I might bring, and seek to develop and inspire the areas that wouldn’t be immediately beneficial to him or the church.”

10. “What I need from my lead pastor is to ignore or put aside my young age and remember my accomplishments and resumé qualifications. I want him to remember why he hired me.”

11. “I wish pastors would be willing to be an example to their staff. (This is not in regards to my pastor. I’ve just been under pastors like this.) In other words I have seen senior pastors often ask their staff to do things they’re not willing to do themselves.”

12. “What I need from my lead pastor is for him to be more spiritual father than a boss. Being sincerely concerned about the spiritual growth and well being of his staff over his concern for the completion of  duties done. I believe that if is at the core of the pastors sincere heart, then the duties completed will  never be problematic to begin with.”

13. “What I need from my lead pastor is to publicly support my ministry and decisions to the church.”

14. “What I would love to receive from my lead pastor is that he’d take time every week to meet with me as a mentor.”

15. “What I need from my lead pastor is to have my hard work and results appreciated more personally or authentically. I’m not asking for a public announcement, but a sincere, look-me-in-the-eyes, “thank  you.”

16. “What I need from my lead pastor is to acknowledge that I have something to contribute to the entire church, not just to my area of responsibility. To see that he values my ideas, opinions, and creativity.”

17. I would like for my pastor to clearly let me know what he expects of me and then to trust me in then doing what he expects my way. He is pastor of our church and it is my place to help further his vision.  But this is hard to do if he is not clear in his expectations of me. And it is hard to do if I have to carry out his vision in a confining way that keeps me from best helping my pastor and his vision.  Like David, I can’t wear Saul’s armor and expect to defeat Goliath – I need to use the sling and five  stones that I am comfortable with.

18. What I need from my pastor is to let me be a part of his ministry. We talk a lot in staff meetings about helping him and his vision – and I really want to do that – but after the staff meeting is over, we just go back into our individual ministries. It would be great if we could sit down over coffee and just talk  about life, the church, his experiences, and where he is leading the church. Just doing that would help me as a minister and it would help me be a better servant to my pastor and our church.

19. What I need from my pastor is respect for me as a minister. It would also mean a lot he made sure my family is financially provided for.

20. What I need from my lead pastor is to let me serve to the best of my abilities in a defined set of responsibilities. Sometimes I feel like I’m always on the run seeing to his latest ideas at the expense of my usual responsibilities or the previous list of things he gave me to do.

The staff pastors we spoke with, as well as the staff pastors we work with every day, spoke with the highest respect and affection for their lead pastors:  they want to serve them well and serve them for a long, long time.  The heartbeat of their responses is that lead pastors will simply help them do just that; they will set up their staff members for success in their present ministries and for a lifetime.  Thank God for quality lead pastors.  Thank God for the quality staff pastors who serve under them.

Journey Pastoral Coaching provides pastoral coaching to Millennial ministers.

Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.

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