What’s Changed: How Young Ministers Are Calling Us Back to Pastoral Coaching
I recently met with a colleague, and our conversation covered the usuals: where we are now, what we are doing in ministry, and how it’s all going. He was intrigued to hear that I am a full-time pastoral coach and that I focus on Millennial ministers. The idea was completely foreign to him.
“We didn’t need coaching when I began in ministry. What’s changed?” he asked me.
To rephrase my friend’s challenge, he was saying, “When we were young ministers, we didn’t need to be pastored, so something must have changed in the world, in the church, or in ministers that now makes this “necessary.” What has so changed that pastors now need to themselves be pastored?”
My answer came in two parts: yes, much has changed, and much has not. Both answers tell us why pastors need to be pastored.
FIRST THE CHANGES
Three major changes that demonstrate the need for pastoral coaching.
I. THE MINISTRY
Ministry is no longer primarily a contemplative life but a complicated one. This is evidenced in the language used to describe the pastoral role.
Thirty years ago, pastors were defined as shepherds or spiritual leaders. Today, in addition to being required to be spiritual leaders, pastors are also under tremendous pressure to be leadership gurus, business CEOs, administrative phenoms, marketing experts, event planners, counselors, community facilitators, and even entertainers who are culturally hip, tech-savvy, and tireless.
Pastors now struggle to juggle all the roles thrust upon them. Struggle and Juggle is, for many pastors, their actual, day-to-day job description.
There is a better way, and pastoral coaches are the guides who can help each minister find it. They don’t impose one-size-fits-all solutions, but instead, they help individual ministers grow into the unique disciples and ministers they are meant to be. This journey leads to a life of wholeness – integrity, oneness, unity – in Christ as a disciple and leader.
By focusing on principles, pastoral coaches empower ministers to reflect and refocus on the God of ministry, God’s call to ministry, and God’s ways in ministry. They help ministers first develop as disciples, learning to let their individual discipleship define and form their leadership.
Coaches help ministers return to the core of what ministry is all about: living in vital connection with Christ and then connecting with the people they lead as a flow of the minister’s own life in Christ.
Much in the ministry has changed since I entered vocational ministry over forty years ago. Ministry is no longer primarily a contemplative life but a complicated one. This change is a critical answer to the question, “Why Pastoral Coaching?”
II. MINISTRY MENTORING
When I entered the ministry over four decades ago, the first pastor I served under took time to personally invest in me and develop me. He talked Bible with me, took me along for ministry outside the church, taught me about church boards, church business, etc. He discussed pastoring people and continually challenged me to passionately pursue personal spiritual growth. He worked to develop me, my being, for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry.
Other experienced pastors invested in me, and other young ministers like me. They were more than leaders; they were pastors. They were interested in more than the moment; they focused on a lifetime of ministry. They were interested in more than just their own staff members; they were intent on investing in all young ministers. They worked to develop us for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry, even if it did not benefit them or their ministry. They were kingdom focused.
This is a disappearing value in church leadership. (Notice I do not say “in pastors.”) Because of the above changes in ministry, church leaders now devote more time and energy to developing programs rather than people, building machines rather than ministers, and growing churches rather than disciples – leading rather than pastoring.
I often ask lead pastors what they do to mentor the pastors on their staff. Sadly, the most common answers are “little” and “nothing.” Why not? Again, the most common answers are “I’m too busy” and “They’re big boys and girls; they can take care of themselves.”
One youth pastor even told me he had met with his senior pastor once – just one time – over the previous one-year period. He had repeatedly sought meetings but had been rebuffed because the pastor was too busy. Yes, this is exceptional, but no, the absence of mentoring is not unusual. Far too many lead pastors are hard-wired and focused on using their staff, getting the most out of them in the here and now. And when their usefulness is no more, the staff pastor is terminated, the lead pastor giving no thought to God’s lifetime creation and call of the staff pastor.
Many church leaders today focus primarily on the here and now, their own church, and their ministry. And so, staff members are not there to be developed for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry for the kingdom of God; they are there to be used and used up until they are no longer of benefit to the here and now. Then they are to be sent packing.
Pastoral coaches mentor staff pastors and lead pastors as well. They invest in the minister with an eye on the here and now, of course, but more importantly, on the lifetime of service for which God has created them, the lifetime of ministry to which God has called them.
Much in ministry mentoring has changed since I entered vocational ministry over thirty-five years ago. This change is a critical answer to the question, “Why Pastoral Coaching?”
III. THE CHURCH
The church has significantly changed over the past forty years. It is currently going through an identity crisis in three vital areas.
The church is going through an identity crisis of meaning: the church today does not understand who we are – our raison d’être, our reason for being. The stated and published purposes of local churches are as many and varied as the architecture of their buildings. Survey church websites for a taste. Pastoring churches who don’t know why they even exist – from God’s perspective – is challenging, if not impossible.
The church is going through an identity crisis of membership: we speak of faith communities, but private-faith Christianity is now the norm and not the exception. It’s almost an epidemic: “I’ll pick the church with the most attractive designer Jesus and cafeteria-style of ministry offerings, but as to sharing life in Christ as family and caring for others, no thanks, I’ve got my own life to live. What? Of course, I’m a Christian!” Pastoring churches who only want a weekly private-faith experience before returning to their own life “outside the church” is a challenge.
Finally, the church is going through an identity crisis of ministry: we talk about every member as a minister, but attendance mentality and “spectatoritis” are rising. In many churches, we pay the pastors to do the ministry while everyone else watches. How to engage people as servants in the church and world is increasingly the question of the day for pastors. Many pastors have landed on the “Serve Teams” approach, which invites church members to serve not as individuals but as a team, whether teaching, greeting guests, directing parking, or in other areas. However, many Serve Team members are soon burned out, leaving their place of service and the church – local or even global. My anecdotal study of this burnout and dropout phenomenon shows that many pastors do little to shepherd these servants during their service or follow up with them when they leave. Pastoring churches where a biblical understanding and practice of members-as-servants is a challenge.
Again, pastoral coaches help ministers focus, refocus, and refocus on the church of Jesus Christ as described in the Word of God and at work in the world. Pastoral coaches help ministers remain shepherds of the sheep even in a complex world today.
Much in the church has changed since I entered vocational ministry over forty years ago. This change is a critical answer to the question, “Why Pastoral Coaching?”
Yes, much has changed since we grey hairs entered the ministry, but more importantly, it’s what has not changed that is the real why of pastoral coaching.
WHAT HAS NOT CHANGED
1. Your Need for Coaching
God did not build you to walk solus, but simul: Not alone, but with.
Two really are better than one (Ecclesiastes 4.9)
In his book, Dangerous Calling, Pastor Paul David Tripp writes:
“Pastor, it is plain and simple: you and I need to be pastored. One of the scandals of hordes of churches is that no one is pastoring their pastor. No one is helping him see what he is not seeing. No one is helping him examine his thoughts, desires, words, and behaviors. No one is regularly calling him to confession. No one is delineating where repentance is appropriate. No one is reaching into his discouragement with the truths of the presence, promises and provision of his Savior. No one is confronting his idolatry and pride. No one is alerting him to places of temptation and danger in his life.”
No mention of age, experience, challenges, personal strengths or any other imagined exception.
No mention of the many pastors of all ages, experience levels, challenges and strengths who have broken down, burned out and blown up because they deluded themselves into thinking they didn’t need someone to walk with them.
Every pastor needs a pastor, someone to walk with them in Christ as a person, disciple, and pastor.
Christ’s model and instruction for ministering to ministers was in groups.
Check it out, it’s in The Book: when Jesus sent His staff members out into ministry, He sent them out in groups of two.
You say that’s because they were young and new to the ministry?
At first, probably. And yet, we later see this same group of ministers keeping their connection:
the Apostles lived and ministered together in Jerusalem;
when the Apostles travelled, they tended to travel in pairs;
when the Apostles sent Barnabas to pastor a new church in Antioch, Barnabas recruits Paul to minister by his side;
Paul serves as a missionary with Barnabas and then with Silas, as well as with others;
when Paul installs pastors in churches, his first instruction to them is to appoint elders (plural);
when Paul is imprisoned, he calls for brothers to come and support him with their presence.
Good enough for the Apostles, good enough for me: where’s that list of pastoral coaches?
2. The Risks of Denying Your Need for Coaching
Check out these seven fire alarm stats from recent surveys by Barna Research and Lifeway Research:
- 48% of pastors are discouraged. (Lifeway, 2022)
- 42% of pastors have considered quitting full-time ministry within the past year. Almost half of these are young ministers. (Barna, 2022)
- 65% of pastors report feelings of loneliness and isolation, with 47 percent saying “sometimes” and 18 percent saying “frequently.” (Barna, 2022)
- 41% of pastors say they practice sabbath with their family. (Barna, 2022)
- 61% of pastors are lonely and have few close friends. (Barna, 2022)
- 63% of pastors say their role is frequently overwhelming. (Lifeway, 2021)
- 50% of pastors say the demands of their job are often greater than they can handle. (Lifeway, 2021)
There is a code blue risk involved in denying our universal weakness as human beings when it comes to walking alone: we just weren’t built to do it. No, you’re not the exception, and, no, you can’t do it.
Just as important, there is a code blue risk in ignoring the incredible strengths in each of us that could and would be developed as we simply share the journey of ministry with another who understands.
3. The rewards of embracing your need for coaching.
“We didn’t need coaching in my day.” Not true.
“We didn’t think we needed coaching in my day” is a more apt description. We thought we were spiritual Clint Eastwoods who were riding into town alone to do the work that we alone could do, which required us to work and walk alone. Far too many pastors held up loner prophet John the Baptist as the epitome of a church leader, ignoring or forgetting the community shepherd Jesus as our singular model.
And yet, most ministers had pastoral coaches; we just didn’t call them coaches in those days. We called them mentors, spiritual fathers, even friends. The name may have changed, but the ministry remains the same: pastors being pastored by wise and spiritual mentors.
Pastoral coaching is about spiritual leaders growing; it’s about growing those who grow others. It’s how secure ministers continue to grow in Christ and their ministries for Christ.
Final Word: What Has Changed & What Hasn’t Changed?
When one of your friends in ministry echoes my friend in saying, “We didn’t need coaching when I began in ministry, so why do pastors of this generation need to be pastored,” tell them there are only two good reasons: because of all that has changed and all that hasn’t changed.
Yes, what has changed – in ministry, pastoral formation, and the church highlights the wisdom of pastors walking with wise guides who can help them navigate their journeys through those changes.
And yes, what has not changed in ministry – our inherent need for a pastor, Jesus’ model and instructions on ministry, the risks, and the rewards – all point like a GPS to the wisdom of journeying with a fellow minister who knows the ground we walk and the life we live.
Temporary changes and timeless constants call ministers of this generation and every generation to return to the biblical model of pastors walking with pastors.
Here’s to the journey, the shared journey.
EDITOR’S NOTE: At Journey, we’re celebrating our 10th Anniversary helping young ministers build strong for a lifetime of healthy and effective ministry. As a part of our celebration, we’re featuring articles written by Journey members and second looks at edited versions of early articles (like this one) that established our foundation and set out our mission. We hope you enjoy these articles and are strengthened in your walk with Christ – and others in Christ – as you read them.
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Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.
We are able to do so thanks to the faithful and generous support of individuals and churches like yours who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry.
Now, more than ever, we need your help.
If you or your church would like to help Millennial ministers across the US and overseas build strong for a lifetime in ministry, please click here to support Journey monthly or with your one-time gift. Thank you.
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