The Hidden Treasures of Pastoral Coaching

Introduction

“One of the common denominators apparent among those who lived well, led well, and finished well, was that they had people – mentors, teachers, advisors, counselors, guides, friends – who had the love, patience, and courage to walk alongside them through various seasons, along the journey. They were the ones who noticed, not from a distance, but up close in order to see what was really taking place, to ask a timely question, to offer perspective, to bless with a word of hope.” Randy D. Reese and Robert Loane, Deep Mentoring

Most Christians instinctively understand the benefits of pastoral coaching or mentorship: a younger minister walking with a more experienced minister is as natural and life-giving as the rain in spring.

This relationship:

Provides protection from burnout;
Gives access to wisdom;
Offers a listening ear and a hearing heart;
Identifies temptation and calls out sin;
Lays out an avenue to confidential confession, repentance, and renewal;
Helps ministers survive and then thrive;

All these are self-evident.

THE NOT SO EVIDENT

But, did you know this about pastoral coaching and mentorship?

It’s how Jesus did ministry during His life on earth. With a world to reach, He focused His time and energy not on crowds but on the Twelve.

It’s how the Twelve who walked with Jesus on earth did life in ministry after He ascended to heaven.

It’s how the early church, led by the Twelve, and then Paul, lived and ministered.

At its root, pastoral coaching is an extension and expression of the life of the Trinity. The Father, Son, and Spirit live in relationship with each other, and they minister as one in the world. Their design, then, is that their ministers of the Gospel live and minister in relationship with each other. Jesus even prayed this way in the Garden. As we do this, we enter into the way of the Trinity. We live in harmony with God, our creation, and His design.

All of this tells us there is more to pastoral coaching than we realize.

1. It focuses on discovery.

Rather than a didactic teaching experience, pastoral coaching is a conversation. The path of enquiry leads to the desired destination. That’s what Socrates discovered. By posing questions, the coach-mentor helps the mentee discover the truths and applications they need to build strong for a healthy and effective life in ministry. Lessons caught sow deeper and stay longer than lessons taught.

“Mentoring” has often become an empty cliché today. It survives best in the robust practice of coaching in sports, but its deepest roots lie in the models of tutoring and apprenticeship demonstrated by Socrates and Plato and, supremely, by Jesus and His disciples. The central idea? The deepest things in life cannot be taught in words (or books, lectures, seminars, and sermons). They must be learned in experience under the authority of a Master. Os Guinness, “Entrepreneurs of Life”

2. It connects this generation of ministers to 2100 years of Christian ministers.

For many, history begins the day they are born. Every young generation is prone to this weakness. Its focus is this time on earth, this moment in ministry. But the Scriptures forbid this approach; instead, they call us to connect with those who have gone before us. We are the current carriers of The Message, the latest leaders of the Church that goes back to its founder, Jesus Christ, and its foundations, His apostles and prophets (Ephesians 2.20). And to church history’s wise men and women. Pastoral coaches serve as human bridges to the generations upon whose shoulders we stand, and on whose work we build. They help us walk forward in heavenly, time-tested wisdom on earth.

“A loss of community and continuity, as “the faith once delivered” becomes the faith of merely one people and one time, and cuts itself off from believers across the world and down the generations.” An Evangelical Manifesto

3. It opens the doors to peer relationships

Seven of ten ministers report having no close friends. They not only walk alone, but against the creation of the Three-in-One God, who, as an expression of His inner communion, formed us for relationship. Theyhave parents, brothers, sisters, and other family members. Through their school years, they have a circle of friends. The names may change when they go to college, but still, they build their lives around relationships. Until they enter the ministry, when many go Lone Ranger. Denying John Donne, they live as islands unto themselves, or they ride the fence by working but not walking with others. But if they would study Jesus during his years on earth, they would see a life lived in close relationship with the 12, not only as their Master but also as a friend. They would see that as Jesus leaves them to return to the Father, He tells them, and even prays that they will continue together. The Book of Acts shows them taking up residence in Jerusalem, doing ministry together. At Journey Pastoral Coaching, our members commit to building relationships with one another. These relationships have been, and continue to be, life-changing.

“In the coming years, there are going to be a lot of lonely people who didn’t pay their dues when it came to building personal bonds of friendship and community. Maybe a new kind of church needs to be birthed. One that emphasizes community and spiritual development.” Gordon MacDonald, Going Deep

4. It helps develop discipline.

The effective pastoral coaching ministry focuses on discipleship. This means a life of discipline. Many young ministers admit a weakness in this area and so come to pastoral coaching for help. The coaching conversation is not the only tool in this work. Even coaching’s approach and schedule are devices in developing discipline. For example, in Journey Pastoral Coaching, every December, each member completes our “Bio and Contact Doc” and “Focus Doc.” The “Bio” is a one-page information sheet, while the “Focus” requires members to think and write deeply about their lives and ministries: objectives, challenges, character issues, and dreams. Each member completes a monthly Insight Question for the Journey coach and shares an “Emmaus Call” with another Journey member. Finally, every member has a set day and time for their coaching call with the Journey coach. This regimented approach helps our members develop personal discipline in their busy lives.

“God must be the beginning and the end of all our actions. To bound our spiritual passion by the rhythm of daily life and its disciplines, and to do so with others in our family and in our community, is to build a strong foundation of faith, within which one can become fully human and fully Christian.” Rod Dreher, The Benedict Option

5. It focuses the minister first on being, then doing.

Pastoral coaching is not first about the ministry, but the minister. Its purview is not the activities of their ministry, but the activities of their soul: their being. It is from being that doing flows: we do according to who we are. Therefore, pastoral coaching is built on the principle that as we develop the minister, we develop the ministry. In a ministry world, obsessed with programs and events, Pastoral coaching walks in the heartbeat, mindset, and footsteps of Jesus as he walked with the 12 men who would lead his church after his ascension. His focus was not first on leadership development, but on leader development: being. And so it is in pastoral coaching.

“If any leader in any leadership community is going to become spiritually mature so that he can experience the fruitfulness of ministry longevity, he must be blessed by leaders who patiently work for and contribute to his maturity.” Paul David Tripp, Lead

6. It develops lifelong learning

One learner independently taking notes in a study course is a student. Two such learners are two students. They are learning in the same room, but not necessarily learning together. However, two or more students interacting with a teacher and each other constitute a community of learners, each one inspired and inspiring to study and learn. Their shared journey stimulates each one’s hunger for knowledge and wisdom, a day-to-day and a lifetime of learning. Journey is a community of lifelong learners who suggest and share resources. Journey thanks the members who lead our ministry by gifting them our favorite reads. Our annual retreats feature a book exchange where Journey gives away books and members bring their favorites to add to the shelves for selection. Yes, we want our members to read each of these resources, but the greater goal is to develop disciples who are lifelong learners.

“All true learning takes place in community, where there is give and take, formation and correction. It is often in this context that an interpreter becomes aware of blind spots.” Stephen Dempster

7. It promotes a proactive pursuit of long term goals

Many assume that walking with a pastoral coach is a short-term solution for ministers who have had a setback or are facing a difficult issue, a problem-solving remedy. Not so. Pastoral coaching is a regular conversation between two individuals in which one has a goal and the second, a person of experience, assists them in achieving it. It is a journey shared by two people: one wishes to move toward a known destination, and the second person, who sees that destination, possesses wisdom about the path to reach it and so helps the first person progress toward it. Problems are addressed in coaching conversations, but they are not its focus. Its focus is the deepening of the soul, ever intent on living a life in ministry that is pleasing to God, healthy, and effective.

“By myself, I am not large enough to call the whole man into activity. I want other lights than my own to show all his facets.” C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves

8. It creates a circle of coaching

As a pastoral coach, I can tell you that the greatest learner in our coaching ministry is not one of the ministers I coach. The greatest learner is me, the coach. I have three decades more ministry experience than they do, but our conversations always serve as a classroom for me. They coach me in at least two ways. First, they share information and knowledge that I otherwise would not know. Because they are focused on personal and ministerial growth, they bring to me the things they are learning, and I am richer for it. Second, as I pastor and even push them into going deeper in Christ, our conversations speak to me of my life in Christ and my ministry for him. The young ministers I mentor energize me to live and minister forever young. For this reason alone, every gray-hair out there should walk with younger ministers.

“The past, the present, and the future are one and indivisible, so the generationalism that privileges the present at the expense of a past and the future is a disaster for the church. Obsessed with their preoccupation with a present, many modern Christians suffer from chronic myopia. But in their shortsightedness, they not only forget the past, they also render themselves unprepared for the future, and they lose their hold on their deeper calling in the present.” Os Guinness, Carpe Diem Redeemed

FINAL WORD

I have never tried to sell pastoral coaching to someone. I don’t need to. Jesus prescribed it, and He lived it during His time on earth. As a follower of Jesus Christ, I seek to live and minister as he did, and as He instructed His followers to live and minister. The 12 understood this, as did Barnabas, Paul, Silas, Luke, Timothy, Titus, and all who followed The Way of Jesus.

The discipline of walking with a minister who has served the Father, Son, and Spirit longer than you have is natural, even supernatural, as Jesus joins you on your Emmaus Road, reveals Himself to you, breaks the Bread of Life to you at His table, and sets your heart on fire.

To walk with someone who has been where you are and is going where you are going is a living treasure, for you and for that someone.

“The older we get, the more we come to understand the inestimable value of the “happy few,” that inner circle of intimate friends who will always be there long after the lights of the fast and glamorous life have been extinguished. The ‘happy few’ may be the most important treasure one will ever possess this side of heaven. Resilient people know this from experience.” Gordon MacDonald, A Resilient Life

NEW TO JOURNEY: THE BIBLE CHALLENGE:

Journey Pastoral Coaching is privileged to partner with Bible Study Challenge, a unique approach to Bible study designed to help you enjoy your time in the Word, and more deeply understand what you study.

Not only will Bible Study Challenge help make your study of the Scriptures come alive, but your study helps support the ministry of Journey.

May’s challenge is on the Book of Jonah. Every month brings a new book and challenge. Click here to learn more.

The May Challenge will focus on the book of Colossians.

Remember to use the unique Journey link. Doing so will help support the ministry of Journey Pastoral Coaching.

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NOTE: Journey Pastoral Coaching exists to provide pastoral coaching to Millennial ministers.

Saddled with large student debt, just beginning to set up homes and start families, and serving in low paying first and second positions, Millennials are those who most desire but can least afford to pay for pastoral coaching.

We are able to do so thanks to the faithful and generous support of individuals and churches like yours who want to see young leaders not only enter the ministry, but remain in the ministry.

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The Hidden Treasures of Pastoral Coaching

Introduction

THE NOT SO EVIDENT